Adventures in the Insane: A Pokemon Story

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Adventure: a hazardous enterprise
Journey: a movement over a considerable distance from once place to another

     "This world is inhabited by creatures called Pokemon! For some people, Pokemon are pets. Others use them for fights. Myself... I study Pokemon as a profession. First, what is---"
     "Hey! What're you doing here!? Get out! Ash is in the other league! Go bother him! Go on! Get out! Sheesh. It's so hard to make a decent introduction, people barging in every five seconds. No! Go back outside! Just wait outside twenty seconds, for Arceus's sake! We'll start in a moment! Now, how shall we begin this...?"
      As I'm sure you've already guessed, I am acquainted with the infamously irritating and determinedly stupid, Ash Ketchum. I am his sister: Kristen Ketchum. I'm not even going to go into detail about our relationship. And no, this story is not about him or his practically blind companion, Brock, or even the persistent Misty whose feelings elude Ash's comprehension. 
      No. This story is mine- about my idiotic friends and clinically insane Pokemon on a journey we took for no reason other than to amuse ourselves. 
      At the tender age of fifteen, I decided to finally move out all my crap from my room in Pallet Town with my mom and into my own two-story home in a secluded corner of Floaroma Town. There I live with my six main Pokemon companions: Mew, Charizrd, Pidgeot, Vaporeon, and the Squirtle twins. The other 285 Pokemon I've caught bug Professor Oak day in and day out at his lab. However, he's been devising a plan to dump them off on some deserted island.
      So while I try to thwart Oak's plans by being even more lazy, my friends have other ideas on how to use me in a productive manner. I'd like to see them try. 
      I'm Kristen Ketchum, age 17, bored as hell, which is one of the reasons why this intro sounds so dumb and I'm trying to keep it that way. So here we go! To start this new absurd adventure!

Corner of a Circle 

Female Squirtle
           Well Kristen is an idiot. 
Male Squirtle 
           I'd have to agree. She completely forgot to introduce us. 
Female Squirtle
           We know she can tell us apart-
Male Squirtle
            -But nobody else can.
Female Squirtle
            So to clarify-
Male Squirtle
             I'm Kai.
Female Squirtle
            And I'm Keiko.
Kai
            Don't forget it. 
Keiko
            Seriously. 

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