Where do insecurities stem from? Why do we have them? How can we dissolve them? I know 1st hand that many of the insecurities we have... and at times even voice... (even if only to help and allow your Significant Other to better understand you as a person)... can and eventually will ruin your relationship. So really you find yourself in a "Catch 22"... because on one hand... if you tell your Significant Other about the many insecurities your burdened with... that then gives them the opportunity to exercise a few options... they can either...
A. Do nothing at all except to reassure you of your insecurities. (Which is how I feel it should always be anyways.)
B. Somehow manage to always bring it up and throw it in your face if you ever happen to so much as question what they have done. (Which when happens also brings on paranoia... i.e...."Why are they "Blame-Placing?", "What is really going on?","Why the sudden turn on me?") ...or...
C. Play on your insecurities. (Which is not ever ok to do. It not only is annoying, but its also hurtful, stressful, and depressing.)
But the "Catch 22" plays its part here in the other hand... If you decide to not go the routes of either A., B., or C.,then the only available option is to keep all your insecurities inside without ever giving a voice to them... However... In doing so... you allow all the pent up emotions eat and eat at the very heart and soul that you are supposed to protect. And by that time you have already completely convinced yourself that the insecurities you had were no longer "mere, insignificant feelings... but a solid fact... cold, hard truth and reality. And what’s the point after you’ve allowed it to take you that far? For the relationship that you used to once hold dear to you is now broken and lost. Your left with nothing else to do but go on your separate ways... resenting your foolish insecurities more fervently with every step you take away from what you had known or believed "Should Have Been".
Now don’t get me wrong... this is not always the case. This is not always the story. Some people are lucky and have the privilege of not being burdened with all these insecurities... (Or at the very least they acknowledge minimal insecurities so insignificant they can easily be handled and coped with.) And they are then able to move on thru their life with a stronger self confidence and a better, truer sense of their being.
I envy those people. People who don’t know true pain. People who have never yet experienced one of life’s greatest tragedies... the pain of a broken heart. The impact of a broken heart (and the relationship responsible for it) on a person varies on so many different levels that we could never fathom the depths of that great pain. But regardless on what level is impacted... it is still felt nonetheless.
So here you are... alone... left with only regrets and memories of a happier time. Where do you go? What do you do now? Do you take some time to yourself? You need it. Or do you immediately try to fix and fill the void that now occupies the space your heart once was. So you ponder... Time to one’s self is always important. You can never go wrong with discovering who you are again. To reevaluate the person that you are and figure out the person you want to be. And then too, jumping right back into a relationship after getting out of one so soon is not an easy transition, even for the most confident and self-assured person to make. And yet again, it depends on the individual and history with the person they are pondering being with. Even more so when you leave a past relationship with new insecurities, or even old ones reestablished. But either way it goes... for the moment... those insecurities are the reason your now standing alone. And when faced with that, the logical, healthy thing you should do id take it for what it is... and free yourself... if only for a moment...and enjoy the person you are, take time to regain your sense of self worth. That would be the logical, right decision to make...
