Chapter I

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I honestly thought college would be the most stressful, boring, life draining experience of my life, but I was completely wrong. See, I thought college would be 'stereotypical college': Hating your roommate, getting way too drunk on the weekends at parties, buying unnecessary things with the money your parents sent you, things like that. And for the first few weeks, it was exactly that. I'm Mitch Grassi, and this is my college experience."

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I sat back and looked at my first paragraph, keeping a frown on my face. Everything I had just typed was a lie. College was the most stressful, boring, life draining experience of my life, and more. I slammed my laptop and ran my fingers through my hair. "This is useless.." I whispered to myself... And it was... At least I thought it was.

You may be wondering, "why the heck would this useless low life want to lie about his college experience, let alone write about his college experience at all?" Welp, let me tell you a fun little story called my life.

Ever since I was about eight, I've always wanted everyone around me to be happy, and ever since then I've wanted to write an inspiring story to make people's lives "better". Then, when I was 12, I was diagnosed with lung cancer. I fell into a deep depression, and kinda gave up on myself. I lived the next 7 years hating myself, and everyone around me. My grades went down, my cancer got worse, and my whole life flipped upside down. 

Things especially got bad when I came out to my parents when I was 15. You might think that I had really accepting parents, but you're dead wrong. The only thing I remember after telling them was a hand striking my face, and being told that I was disgusting, and they were glad I had cancer.

"If you weren't already facing Death himself in the face I'd kill you myself"...

That was the last thing I remember my step-dad telling me. My mom was fine with it, and she divorced him for telling me all that, and I was thankful for having my mom in my life. 

Now, here I am, freshly out of college, and trying my damn best to find a job, and a place to stay. I've been living with my mom ever since I left college. I know, embarrassing. Tell me about it. 

Anyway, back to the real story. I got up from my desk and flopped myself down on my small, uncomfortable bed, (Mom doesn't have the money to buy a new bed, the one I have now if from when I was 13) staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. I drew in a deep breath, and exhaled slowly as I fell slowly into a deep sleep.


f l a s h b a c k

"Get out!! I don't want to look at your disgusting face ever again!" Chuck yelled at me. I could feel his steel-toe work boots crashing into my ribs every few seconds. I could feel myself losing consciousness. I could hear my mom crying and yelling. I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks. My mom picked me up as  Chuck grabbed the shotgun off the wall, and fired two warning shots at us. Thankfully, we got to the car before the bullets were able to hit us.


I woke up drenched in sweat. That same dream had been haunting me ever since I came out. I sighed and looked over at my alarm clock.

3:38 A.M.

Fuck..

I sat up and ran my fingers through my hardly-there hair. I grabbed my phone and saw that I had a text from my one and only friend, Kristie. I grinned when I saw her text.

Wanna go get Starbucks today? I don't wanna sit home alone all day doing nothing without my bff, lmao. >3< Lemme know bby! <3 c:

Kirstie has been my best friend ever since middle school. She was actually the first person I came out to when I was 14, and she agreed to play as my beard until I was ready to come out. I remember how supportive she was about everything: My sexuality, my cancer, everything. She's seriously my everything.

I quickly texted back, getting out of bed to take a shower. 

of course baee, I miss u :c sorry i just texted back, i was sleeping lol. when do u wanna meet?

I got undressed and got in the shower with Rihanna blaring from my iPhone. I sang/rapped along with her as my mom knocked on the door. "Honey, why're you up so early?" I peeked out of the curtain to see her tired, worn face. Her brownish red hair was fading to gray, and her face was still as kind as it was when I was a kid. I smiled at her reassuringly, turning off the shower. "I couldn't really sleep. Kirstie wants to get Starbucks today so I thought I'd get ready extra early so I wouldn't have to later." I said, grabbing a towel from the towel hanger and wrapping it around my waist before stepping out of the shower. "You're so lazy," She laughed. "You're not leaving now, are you? It's waaay too early for that." I rolled my eyes and giggled. "Of course not, mom, it's almost 4 A.M., I don't need coffee this early." I said.

She smiled and kissed my cheek, making my smile grow. "Alrighty then. Now turn the 'queen' down, I wanna sleep." She said, giggling as she left the room. I giggled too, looking in my reflection.

I honestly really loved my smile, but I wasn't used to it. I don't smile much anymore, except for when I'm with mom or with Kirstie. I sighed, all of a sudden feeling sad again.

Why can't I be happy all the time?..

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 28, 2016 ⏰

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