Indestructible: Reinforced

Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

     September 2012

     Present Day

     I was jolted back to the present when I remembered the phone-call Josh had received. I’d forgotten about it when Dad and Drake had started fighting.

     “Hey, Josh?”

     Josh finished sending a text to Augustus and looked up at me. “Yeah?”

     “You never told me why Michelle was calling you.” Just remembering the whole thing was enough to make me angry again. I couldn’t keep it out of my voice, Josh noticed and wariness seeped into his eyes as he tried to gauge my reaction. “What did she want?”

     “Nothing.” He replied. “Just don’t worry about it, babes, focus on Avy.”

     “I need to know why this bitch was calling you!”

     He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Will you stop that?”

     “What?” I snarled. “You don’t like it when I call her that? Are you defending her now, Josh?”

     “No, I don’t like when you curse, I don’t like it when you’re like that. And you’re being jealous for no reason, Gaby, and it’s hardly the time or the place to be unreasonable, don’t you think?”

     “Oh, I have every right to be jealous!” I snapped at him and he winced. He was trying to control his temper, but I didn’t really care. I was tired, I was stressed, I was feeling guilty because I was keeping him waiting, and the Michelle thing wasn’t making me feel any better. “You know what she did. You know what she wants from you, right?”

     “Yes.” He nodded. “And I’m keeping my distance. But she and I go way back and I won’t be rude to her. I told you she’s just a friend a million times and I need you to accept that.”

     “She tried to sleep with you, Josh.” There was a pinch in my chest and my eyes threatened to well up. I wasn’t going to cry infront of him. Not now. “Excuse me if I’m not comfortable with you two being friends.”

     “Gaby…” Josh was cut off by his ringing phone. He glanced at the screen, frowned, then canceled on whoever was calling. I hadn’t been able to see who it was. “Happy now? She was calling and I canceled on her.”

     “How very nice of you.” I replied sarcastically. “Would you like me to take you to the bathroom and let you screw me as a thank you?”

     “You know,” He got up and stalked away from me. “sometimes you can be just as vulgar as the girls you hate so much.”

     I gaped at him as he walked away and felt tears start running down my cheeks. I didn’t know if I was hurt or angry or both. I didn’t want to be like the rest of his sluts. Ex-sluts. He wasn’t seeing any sluts now. And I didn’t want to remind him of them. If I became more like them then another innocent, decent girl was going to catch his eye and I’d become another slut of his. I didn’t want that to happen.

     But the thought of them being together…

     I was sure that if the situation were reversed and he’d asked me not to see my ex I would’ve done it just to make him feel secure and comfortable. But he know how much I hated her and how bad she made me feel about myself and he did nothing but tell me she loved me and that I was a thousand times better than her. But that was standard stuff one told one’s girlfriend when she was jealous from a slutty ex who couldn’t keep her hands off of him.

     I gritted my teeth together as I remembered what Michelle had tried – and failed – to do. My blood coursed through my veins angrily and my chest ached. I was angry with Josh, really angry, but whenever I remembered the Michelle thing I always wanted to kiss him and make him forget she ever existed, always wanted to make him feel like I was the only one out there for him and that without me he’d be lost. I didn’t want him to think of, or even notice, other girls.

     I remembered how hard it had been for me when he’d told me about it and how helpless I’d felt. It was after we’d slept together, so hearing about how Josh loved me so much that even while drunk he’d been able to push away a barely-dressed Michelle who had thrown herself at him had made me feel like crap. It had hurt me more than it had made me feel better because then we’d been fighting and yet she had been there to soften the blow. Knowing that someone else out there had offered him something he had so desperately needed had been painful, but knowing that he’d turned it down because he was in love with me and didn’t want to hurt me had been downright excruciating. It still made me feel sick whenever I thought about it.

     Yes, he’d done a lot for me, he’d sacrificed a lot for me, but not being friends with a girl he said he didn’t care about was an easy thing to do. I didn’t know why he was refusing to put me out of my misery. It wasn’t like they were close friends, they barely even talked!

     I wiped my tears and took a calming breath. He was right, now wasn’t the right time or the place to be having this fight. Which was why I needed Avy to get on with the delivery progress. This was taking too long and I was tired and stressed out and I needed to deal with Josh-related stuff and wanted the time to be appropriate. I was sick of feeling guilty because I wasn’t worrying about Avy and her baby every waking moment.

     What did Michelle want from him now? Why was she calling him? The first time she’d called Josh had told her that he was busy and that he couldn’t talk. So why had she called him again? It was driving me mad. And if I tried to ask Josh now we’d start fighting again and I didn’t want to fight with him, didn’t want to talk to him either, if I was being honest. I was too upset.

     I’d come a long way since I’d met Josh where my self-esteem and my insecurities were concerned. I knew I was a lot better now than I’d been before, and that I was more comfortable with myself. But whenever Michelle came up I felt like an insecure sixteen-year-old who thought the guy she had a crush on was never going to even remember her name, let alone like her. She made me feel too damn lucky to have Josh, maybe even a little undeserving. I didn’t like feeling that way, I wasn’t a bad person, I wasn’t a loser. I deserved to be happy and I deserved to be loved by someone like him, but she was much prettier than I was and she and Josh got along quite well, and it made me feel uneasy. If we broke up then she wouldn’t hesitate for a second to pounce on him and comfort him, and he’d pull her closer rather than push her away this time.

     My heartbeat accelerated and a sob escaped my chest. I couldn’t bear the thought of him rebounding with her. Because Josh rebounding meant a lot of sleeping around that didn’t involve any actual sleep. And if Michelle got her hands on him first then he wasn’t going to be sleeping around, he was going to be sleeping with her. Just her. Something told me Michelle wasn’t one who liked sharing very much.

     I leaned back in my seat and took a deep breath, I didn’t want to break down. I couldn’t break down. I didn’t have that option. People needed to worry only about Avy right now, I didn’t want them to worry about me as well.

     “Damn you, Michelle.” I muttered as a sob broke through my chest and I buried my face in my hands. If she hadn’t called him then all of my pent-up emotions would’ve stayed pent-up and I wouldn’t be sobbing here, alone, in a hospital.