Stally_Together We'll Make It

It's just a piece of paper

Ally

I sat on the ground and tried to quickly think about what had happened. After a while I got up and called Stevie, she didn't answer so I left her a voice mail.

''Stevie, I understand that you were surprised by what I said and I was also surprised by what you said, but I love you and I know you love me too. So please come home and we'll figure this out together like we always do. Take your time to think if you need to, I'll be home waiting for you. I love you'' I hung up the phone and tried to relax and think about how I would explain things to Stevie. I really didn't intend to hurt her but everything happened so fast and there were so much miss understandings that things went out of control.

After an hour Stevie got home. I was sitting on the couch writing and reviewing songs, I instantly put my journal and my pen down and got up.

''I went to see Cammie. She was sleeping already but was kind enough to wake up and talk to me for a few minutes, so I only got your voice mail a few minutes ago and I came home.'' Stevie looked like she had been crying but she didn't seem mad at me, which was good.

''I'm glad you took your time to process this and I'm sure Cammie made you feel better too.'' I slightly smiled at her and she nodded positively. ''Come sit down please''

We both sat on the couch but not too close. I took a second to figure out the best way to start and then went for it.

''I know you got hurt because I said I would not marry you and you have all the right to be given the circumstances in which that happened. What I meant to say was not that I would not marry YOU, but actually that I do not want to get marry, not because it's with you but overall I do not want that for my life. Do you understand that?'' I looked at her waiting for a reaction.

''Can I at least have an explanation? Why don't you want to get married? Is it the commitment? Is it because you want to wait until you are older? Why?'' She seemed frustrated and I hated to see her like that but I did not want any tabus between us.

''There are a lot of reasons for this choice of mine. Since I was very young my father would joke around and say that I would always be his and I would never get married and I should be a nun and all that crap. Therefore I had this fear implemented in me that I would not be good enough and no one would want to marry me because my father would always scare them away. Because I couldn't fight this fear I tried to think about marriage and if that was actually something I really wanted. Also, since I was very young I started to question my family for their religion and I soon figured out I did not believe in any of that crap and because marriage is associated with religion I did not see any reasons to want to get married.'' I stopped for a second and looked at her, I took her hand and got closer to her. '' Stevie, look at me. Marriage was created by religion to make you feel like you have to make things official in order for them to be real and you have all these rules like you must be a virgin and wear white. Then, people how were not religious started to want to get married as well just because and so that started to happen but it's still just a contract that people sign because the church tells them too.''

''And why don't you want to sign a contract saying that you will love me forever'' I wasn't expecting her to speak but I was happy she did since I really wanted to hear her concerns.

''Because it's just a piece of paper. Let's put it this way, I do not need you to sign a paper for me to know that you will love me forever. I know you and I trust that you do love me and you will do, forever. I think we don't need to sign a paper to trust each other, this relationship is only our concern and noone elses so we don't have to prove to anyone else that this is true as long as we know it it.''

She started tearing up and that made me sad, I thought she would understand my point of view once I explained it to her. I put my arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

''Tell me what is bothering you, my love'' She cried a little bit and I kept brushing her hair with my fingers, waiting for her to calm down.

''I always dreamt I would have a beautiful marriage with a white dress and blue flowers everywhere.''

''This might be rude but I bet in your dreams you were also marrying a guy'' She pulled away and looked at me.

''What?''

''Stevie, every little girl has those dreams and that's because society tells you that is the way to be happy. Since you are born you watch all the Disney movies where there is a princess and the prince saves her and then they get married and live happily ever after. But I'm sorry to tell you that is not real and I am glad it is not. We are not gonna have a boring marriage, we are gonna go on adventures and be with our friends and meet new people and new places. And even not having your white dress I can promise that we will have an amazingly happy life and you are not gonna get bored of me. Society puts a lot of things in our brains and I do understand how hard it is to tell them apart from what we really want but I think figuring out your sexuality must have been similar, at least for me it was. Those first nights when I realised I was gay, I cried myself to sleep thinking I would not have my beautiful heterosexual marriage, I would not have kids and worst of all, I would not have my family involved in my life since I thought they would never accept me and when I had my first girlfriend I couldn't sleep either but that was because I was so happy that I had figured out my shit. Because no, I would never have a prince to save me but I would have a beautiful princess to kiss everyday. Of course we broke up eventually but she still helped me a lot and now I have you and we don't have to be a cliché, we just have to be ourselves and make our own story. Okay, princess?'' I smiled at her and put my hand on her cheek.

She put her hand on mine and smiled back. ''Yes, I do understand where you are coming from, I'm sorry for everything.''

''No worries, everything is ok now.'' I leaned in and kissed her passionately.

''I believe we interrupted something earlier and we should take care of that'' Stevie said pushing me to lay down on the couch.

''Yes, I believe we should'' I said smiling against her lips. I pushed away for a second, looked straight into her eyes and said ''I love you, and I always will.''

''I know, I trust you. Also, I love you more, princess" We smiled each other and connected our lips once more.

...

Thank you for reading. Please vote and leave me comments, I really appreciate them :)

There were a few people mad about the last chapter but I really wanted one of them to be be "against" marriage because: 1) I am and the reason is exactly what I wrote, it's just a paper that society tells you will promise eternal love and I don't agree with it. 2) Stevie also doesn't want to get married (in real life, at least that's what she said in her younow) and although I don't know her reasons, in all the stally fanfics I read they do get married so I decided to take Stevie's opinion and make this a bit more realistic maybe.

Still, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter, it is bigger than usual but when I have a story line going on I don't want to stop it in the middle.

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Have an amazing day, everyone!

Kat