Falling in love is not easy

Kate

'Ugh first day of college and its already going bad' I don't usually talk to myself, but standing on the bus stop alone, waiting for my bus to turn up when its already 30 min late, annoyed me to the point I didn't care what others will think.

Eminem song was playing through my headphones. I could imagine my boyfriend's opinion as if he was standing next to me. 'Turn that crap off' that's something he has always said when I listened to something I liked. He is not a horrible guy, we have been together for over 2 years and we both changed a lot since then. Its hard to keep in positive relations with someone who has nothing in common with you, but at any attempt to try and solve the problem we would end up causing more.

My bus turned up. 'Finally' I said to myself while getting on. I knew this will not be a great trip looking at the amount of people inside. Its not that I am scared, but when I find myself in crowds of people I look down and try to stay unnoticed.

I got off the bus along with 20 other people, crossed the road to meet the guy I was 'going out with' or as I prefer to say my friend who is more than a friend. Its longer but it describes it more accurately.

'You okay?' He always started conversation with the same words. 'Yeah I am okay, bit nervous though'. 'You are always nervous, there is no need for it' he gave me a kiss on my cheek 'just relax, you will be fine'. I smiled at him pretending to be okay. Easy for him to say, guy who talks to many people, each night sure will not be shy, but a girl who has low self esteem and is really shy, well lets just say I would rather keep away from people then get involved with anyone.

I left for my first lesson, took me ages to find the class. I walked in and found seat in the corner of the room leaving gaps between me and the next person. My body temperature was quite high, I could feel my body starting to sweat. 'This is it, your first day, something new to finish with your routine so far'. As I was thinking to myself, two boys entered the room. They looked like friends but at the same time like opposites of each other. One of them was tall, with dark hair he seemed very confident judging by his posture. His friend on the other hand was smaller, he was wearing glasses and kept his eyes on the ground. 'I know how he feels' thought to myself, 'its not easy to walk into room full of people you don't know'. They walked towards me and that is what worried me the most, smaller guy sat next to me.

We both kept our distance from each other, almost like we didn't want to annoy the other person. Smell of his aftershave was strong but very..calming. I felt like I lost control over my body when my head turned towards him and I sent him a smile. He looked at me unsure but he smiled back. he had a beautiful smile. It may be my weird preference but when I look at the guy the first thing that I 'check out' is his smile closely followed by the top part of his body.

'Kate?' I heard my name and I instantly looked at the teacher, 'I am here'. He carried on reading the list of names. 'Sam?'. Boy sitting next to me replied. 'Sam' I thought to myself, I am not very good with names but for some reason I knew this one will be easy to remember. I still couldn't decide why I smiled at him, normal people do that but I always have tried to stay away until the other person attempts to make a contact. 'Maybe I decided to be a little bit more confident?'

Teacher moved on to explaining what we will do throughout the year, 'This year we will study three topics: Memory, Attachment and Research Methods' he stopped to hand out sheets of paper. 'If you look at the sheet, you can see all the sections within each topic'. I scanned the sheet quickly and put it on the desk, 'that's a lot to remember' Sam's friend looked at him and said 'Good thing I remember stuff well'. 'Cocky' I thought to myself, reminded me of my boyfriend, the confidence about being right all the time, them two would make great friends. 'I will fail and I can tell you this right now' Sam didn't seem as confident, how can they be friends? Cocky guys hang out with cocky guys and shy guys hang around with shy guys, at least that is what I always thought. Maybe I just misjudged them, I mean they did only say few things.