If Only...

From enemies, to friends, to one sided crush

If only she knew how I felt about her.

We had been friends for quite a long time now, Well, not that long. We first meet during high school, we sat next to each other because of our names being alphabetical to each other. Lyn Hoan and Takumi Hoshino. After a while, We became rivals to each other, We both disliked each other with a passion. Back then I was rash and overconfident, she was much the same. We had the occasional argument as rivals would do. Because of this, we ended up having a ship between us. We both denied and that was one of the first things we would agree on.  We slowly let go of our hatred and we became friends. Turns out we had quite a bit in common. We both liked music, science-fiction, the supernatural, manga and reading. But we still had our differences. She was more into reading and the supernatural more than me, Delving into fandoms more focused towards teenage girls, which she was. I, on the other hand, was more into manga, anime, gaming and science-fiction more than her.

We were best friends, but we would roam to our little circles and come back to talk. she had her circles and I had mine. Occasionally the circles would join and become one large group. But it was only recently, that I accepted that I began to like her. This crush I had was one of my first ones in high school. I realised that I wanted to be there for her, I wanted to be someone who she could trust with problems, I wanted to her her counsellor if she had problems, I wanted to protect her. I liked her for who she is. But I began thinking other wise. What would happen if I confessed my feelings for her? Would she see me the same way? Would she reject me? Would she still be my friend even if I confessed? 

So many unanswered questions filled my head. I laid my head against my pillow and rested it off. I should live my friendship as it is and savour it for now. It would only be time until I would confess. I arrive at school like every other day. "Hey! Takumi!" Lyn would greet me as we walk to the library, where she would usually hang out. It was a nice feeling, being called out by her. I smiled at her. 

If only she knew.