Natalie's POV
I stared at my creamy white ceiling unblinkingly, unable to will myself to perform even the simplest tasks. These days, it took immense amounts of strength to just force myself to eat.
"Just put it on," Lilly said, throwing a black shirt and skirt in my direction, "We've got to be there for Sara's funeral. You know that too."
It took a few seconds for me to comprehend what she was talking about. Then I sat up and stared at her. Finally I looked down at the clothes she'd tossed at me.
In the three days since the accident, I hadn't spoken to anyone. Lilly had been her usual bubbly self, but talking to people was how she managed her grief. Me, I stayed in my room, in the same hoodie and sweatpants. I hadn't seen Joshua or Carson, but today was Sara's funeral. I'd have to see them.
"I don't want to go," I said finally, my throat parched.
Lilly smiled wanly. "No one does," she said, "It's a depressing thing. But we've got to be there for her parents. C'mon, Nat, get up."
"I can't," I said.
Lilly sighed and checked her watch. It was almost 1:15. "I'm going to be late."
"Late for what?" I asked. The funeral didn't start until 2, and if I had my way, we'd be as late as possible.
"Oh, Carson and I agreed to meet up," Lilly said casually, "I didn't want to go alone."
"What?" I gasped, on my feet and alert for once. I hadn't felt fully awake for days. I blinked at her. "You're going to Sara's funeral with Carson?"
"What's wrong with that?"
I could list a million reasons why it was wrong. Carson had been there the night where Sara and Michael were murdered. The police had found stab wounds, wounds only a sharp weapon could make. I couldn't imagine anyone but Carson doing it.
"He killed them, Lil," I said. It was the only thing I could get past my tongue.
Lilly was breezing through my closet. I hadn't touched it in days, and it was messier than usual. Even my mom, knowing me, had kept her distance and only come in when vital. "He did not," she said coldly, meeting my eyes, "Carson would never do that."
"You don't even know him!" I protested, taking a step closer to her. I was a few inches taller than Lilly, but she wasn't intimidated.
She stared right back at me, a new fire in her eyes. "I do," she said, "While you've been her wallowing, I've been out. Gathering clues. Trying to find out who did it."
"Leave that to the police!" I yelled, grabbing a gluestick sitting on my desk and throwing it at the opposite wall. I had no other way to release my anger.
"The police think that one of us did it!" Lilly yelled back, "And I know that's not true! I know it, Natalie, you know it too! We would never do that! Someone else did it, and they're trying to frame it. And you know what? They're doing a pretty good job of it."
I backed down, biting my lip. "Lil..." I begged. "Leave it to the police, okay? You're going to get hurt."
"I won't," she promised me, "I'm going to find out who murdered Sara and Michael."
