No Time For Love

Chapter 9

Chapter 9 

"Oh look, she's here, go ahead and yell at her instead," Arial says bitterly to Mum, and walks into our bedroom, slamming the door forcefully. Mum turns to me, livid with rage. I can see she's been drinking.  

"Would you like to explain why you're late, Mira?" Mum asks icily. "Your shift ends at seven, and it's almost eight thirty." 

"Would you like to explain why you're drunk, Mother?" I say with equal coolness. "As I recall, you promised not to relapse." 

"You were out with that Liam, weren't you?" Mum sneers. "I know you're talking to him nowadays. He saw me at the market, and obviously had to go to you running." 

"At least he told me!" I yell. "He's more dependable than you have ever been. And Mum, you adored him. Don't you remember?" My voice softens at the end, and I sense a change in Mum's eyes.  

"That doesn't mean you should go around meeting with him. How many boys have you even been with, taking advantage of the fact I'm not well?" Mum screams.  

"Mum, how many bottles did you have?" I ask emotionlessly. Mum looks even more enraged.  

"ANSWER ME!" she shouts. I lose it at that.  

"I can't fucking believe you. I spend my free time working for the money we need to keep from going under, and studying so I can get somewhere in life. And you stand there, accusing me of taking advantage of you or something? Who do you think you are?" I take a breath, trying to calm down. Yelling isn't effective with Mum, but speaking at a normal tone of voice while she's screaming gets to her. "Mum, I honestly don't really need you. But Arial, she needs a mother in her life, not a mad, drunk excuse of a woman. I need you to get your shit together for her, unless you want her to grow up like this. The way to start with that is to stop the drinking. So give me that." I take the liquor from Mum's hand, and toss it in the trash. I push Mum gently onto a chair, and I kneel next to her.  

"Now, Mum, explain to me why you bought the drinks today," I say gently, and Mum doesn't respond. "Mum?" 

After a long pause, Mum speaks, her voice raspy. "Sometimes, I hear your father in my head. He talks to me, and I feel safer. And when I can't hear him," her voice drops to a whisper. "when I can't hear him, I drink, and sometimes he comes back, but usually he doesn't." My eyes burn. I swallow, holding back the tears.  

"Mum, you don't need to drink to remember Dad," I say in an attempt to soothe her. "He will always be there." 

"But it's all my fault, you don't understand," Mum's words dissolve into sobs. I get the feeling she's not talking about Dad's voice in her head at this point.  

"Mum," I say, my voice cracking. She doesn't respond, and I decide I should leave her be. I stand, kiss her on her forehead, and turn to leave, my tears starting to spill.  

I find Mum's stock of liquor, and like Liam said, it is a lot. I decide to get Arial's help in disposing of it. I knock on the door of the bedroom before walking in.  

"What?" she says accusatorily, wiping the tears from her face.  

"I need your help throwing away Mum's liquor," I say tonelessly. Arial doesn't move. "Come on. " 

"Why? She was doing so well, I was actually starting to have a normal life. Then she had to go and get drunk. Again. She's not ever going to get better, Mira. That's just the truth of it. " Arial speaks in a harsh tone that no twelve year old should be capable of. "I'm not coming." 

"Ari, please, this is one thing we can do to get those days back," I plead. "Isn't it better to have at least some of those days than none at all?"