Lost

You

Dear diary,

the day you started talking to me was the day that changed everything. I know that this sounds awkwardly corny but sometimes things have to sound like this if you do not know what to say instead.

So that summer I went to that festival thing. My friends begged me to come though I am actually not a fan of events like this. Yeah I do love listening to music but still. My friends still dragged me here and I stood there surrounded by heaps of people. A friend of mine screamed something into my ear but I never knew what she said. On the one hand I didn't understand her and on the other hand I was captured in thoughts, because the only thing I could pay attention to was you.

Gosh I am actually talking like one of those people who have a crush on someone and cannot help but staring at them for hours. I am sorry.

But no, I am not one of those people. Or at least I don't wanna be.

It was not your outward appearance that made me look at you. It was not the way you smiled or the way you talked to your band colleagues. It was not the way you played your guitar or the way you told the audience how thankful you are for being there. 

No it was the way you closed your eyes when you sang one of your songs. It was the way you opened them and your dark eyes met mine.

You looked at me for two long seconds in which my whole life seemed to stand still. I wasn't amazed by the fact that you looked at me though there are enough people in this room. And I wasn't amazed by the fact that my friends were freaking out because of that eye-contact.

No, I was just looking into you dark brown eyes, seeing things I never saw before. I saw how you felt every word you were singing and I saw the fear in your eyes when the last chord was played.

You were supposed to get out of your little own world in which you disappear while singing. And I knew that knowing a world like this makes reality so much worse.