I'm a Bit of a LONER.but it's ok WITH ME.

Ever since I was young I have always been a loner.  

I had very few friends at school.

I had about 5 friends at my first elementary school.

But we had to move during highschool. Then everything changed. I started to become even more shy and anti-social. I barely had any friends at my new school.

A few weeks later I met this other boy and we played tag and all. Than we started to hang out bout everyday and he became my best friend.

but our friendship didn't last long since he said he just want something with me. That make me worse of being alone and Anti-social..

LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.LONER.

.

.

I feel more comfortable when Im alone because I do not have that nagging feeling of trying to people please.

I think I have had enough experiences of being burned by people that I prefer not to get that close to people anymore.

People are very unpredictable and unreliable. I include myself in that statement.

Even the people very close to me I do not feel that comfortable with them. I feel like I am not enough for them and am letting them down in some way. I do not like to be thinking those thoughts or feeling that way.

When I know that I have a whole day that I do not have to engage with anyone, I start feeling pretty safe and can breathe easier.

I guess you could say I lack social skills or have social anxiety..... whatever you want to call it, I have it.

I used to get teased and pushed away all the time, now that I am in

9th grade.

Been bullied,been kicked by the ass and everything that they have to do when they notice that you aren't like them...

Well if you think..Yes,We aren't like any of you.. YOU KNOW why?? 

Its Because Of the rejection we got from some people.Realizing that you don't 

really have friends who do care for you. 

Realizing that you really can't fit in with the stuff that they are doing.

''For sure they will not understand me 'coz they do not ever feel what I feel. 

They will just leave me then.''

Yeah..I think i got the heck of being Anti-Social and being a LONER.

But the pain inside is still dripping blood as if you can't really find TRUE PEOPLE.

It really hurts you inside when you know that you've been HATED and DISCRIMINATED..

I wish it was different but I've been kicked down too many times

and like a stray dog, I learned I didn't belong. 

I tried to be nice but I could only take so much, I stopped caring

about others as they don't care for me.

 Though it is hard to live by yourself, I can see why many people

don't want to end up like I am. 

Everything I wanted or loved is gone now.

Though I do move on, I believe since I was born with nothing, I'll die with nothing.

This world took everything from me, why is it still there tormenting me?

What more does it want?

Every time I think back, it burns like hellfire.

In the end, I'm just a 110 pound piece of white trash, I want to die alone.

Is that too much to ask?

                                                                                                                       ~FIN~