Riley's Point Of View
I stared blankly out the window to kill time. I am currently inside my English classroom, but our teacher is not here yet. While everyone is busy chatting, I'm just sitting here on my seat; idle and mentally absent. I have no one to talk to since they treat me as an outcast. Actually, everything is entirely different last year. I had a couple of friends back then. However, they are ignoring now me like we weren't friends last year. My current boyfriend, Harold, is studying in a different country because of his parents. His parents' work is in U.K., and they asked him to come with them. He didn't have much of a choice. Our communication is cut off since the start of school. Figured that he is really busy. Basically, I'm all alone.
Still staring at the view outside, my thoughts wandered about to my old friends. They were Jane, Michelle, Camille and Angel. We used to be inseparable. We all got each other's backs. I don't know how I ended up like this at all. After our sophomore year, which was last year, they wouldn't talk to me anymore. It's really sad that I am destined to be alone. But I have to accept reality; the fact that I was meant to suffer all alone in the end, and that my friends are not going to stay with me forever. I now realized how hard it is to be an outcast. The truth really hurts.
My mind became clouded with negative thoughts. Well, this is a normal occurrence for me now, but something is different this time. My thinking is focused on suicide. Now this is unusual. I shake my head off to push these thoughts away, but it was no use. The others stood up and started leaving one by one. I guess our teacher wouldn't arrive. Sighing, I grabbed my backpack and made my way out. In front of my lockers, they stood 2 guys from the Seniors. This is really bad. I fixed my glasses before I stepped to my lockers.
"Uhm, excuse me," I said quietly.
"Oh, isn't it the Nerdy Slut," One of them chuckles.
"Hey, give that back!" I screamed as one of them gets my glasses. I jumped and all, but he's really tall. They laughed at me for looking so stupid. Embarrassed, I stopped struggling to get it. The bullies laughed at me louder. I thought I couldn't get it back, then I saw one of three gets knocked out.
"Charles, what the fuck?!" The "leader" says, astonished.
"Give her glasses back," He states and stares at him coldly. "GIVE. IT. BACK."
"Fine," The guy says, giving up and throwing my glasses to me. Luckily I caught it.
"Don't you ever bully her again," Charles threatened them.
Charles got three death glares before they disappeared. Everyone in the hallway was looking at us. He asks if I was alright, and I reassured him that I'm fine. I opened my locker and fixed my books. It was kind of awkward that a hottie is watching you. Well, waiting for you. After I arranged everything, Charles took me to a private place to talk. We got to know each other, even though I really know him since he's a player - not in the romantic field.
When we were done talking, it was already sunset, so Charles asks me if he could walk me to my dorm. I agreed, since I really hate walking there alone when it's kinda dark. The place always creep me out when it's dark. After we arrived at the door of my dorm, I thanked him. Out of the blue, he hugs me. I feel a blush coming on my cheeks. I'm thankful he couldn't see it.
"Fear no more, I'll protect you," He whispers then pulled away.
"Uh-uhmm, thanks," I said back quietly.
"You should head inside now, you might catch a cold."
"Okay, good night," I stated, turning my back.
"Wait!" Charles says, making me look at him. "What's your name?"
I chuckled slightly. "Riley."
On my bed, I kept on thinking what happened today. I wonder why Charles is being so kind to me? It confuses me why did he scare away my bullies. I don't really get it why I have this weird feeling in my stomach while we hugged. I couldn't get Charles out my mind. I got a mental picture of him...those lovely emerald eyes, brown hair combed to perfection, high cheekbones, perfect lips... Wait, what am I thinking?! Rolling to my side, I buried my face to my pillow, shaking my thoughts about him away.
The next morning, I feel really exhausted and not in the mood for school. My night was full of tossing and turning. I didn't get any sleep. I saw eyebags under my eyes when I looked at the mirror. I had to go to school, anyway. I dragged myself out of my room. Outside, I saw Charles, waiting for me. Why is he here?
"Good morning, Princess," He greets.
"Charles, who are you waiting for here?" I asked politely.
"You, silly," Charles says, chuckling lightly.
"Oh," I muttered out, blushing.
Charles walked me up to my classroom. On the way, people were murmuring and glaring at us. We didn't mind it though. Before I went in my classroom, he kisses me on the cheek as a good luck. Again, it made my stomach churn and blush crept to my cheeks. The whole day, I kept on thinking about him. I thought well if he's worth it over Harold. I thought about it really, really hard. By the time it was our dismissal, I made my decision. I hope I don't regret this...
When Charles walked me to my dorm, I didn't ask him to leave quickly. A confused look was on his face, but he was smiling. I took a deep breath before I kissed him. He was taken by shocked, but soon responded back. Sparks flew everywhere. It's cliche, I know, but it's what I felt. After we pulled away, we were both breathless.
"Wow," He blurts out. "I didn't expect that from you," He says, chuckling slightly.
"I love you, Charles," I said, taking up all my courage.
"I love you too, Riley," He says quietly. "But..."
"But?" I echoed.
"I have someone else," He whispers sadly.
That broke my heart to pieces. I broke up with Harold earlier for him. Wrong move. I held back the tears that were threatening to spill. I turned my heel and ran to my room. I slam the door shut and jumped on the bed, crying. I cried and cried until there was no more to spill out. My eyes were really red, and I look like I've been on drugs.
I feel so empty...
so depressed...
so broken....
so alone....
I opened the drawer of my nightstand and grabbed a small box inside. I got ahold of a shiny metal. It was my switchblade. I stared at it for a while. Hmm...it's really sharp... I straightened out my arm and pushed the blade against my skin. I groaned; both in pain and pleasure. I carry on cutting, enjoying it very much. By the time I stopped, I got 2 on my left wrist, 1 on my index finger and 2 on my ring finger. I'm surprised my fingers weren't cut off. I cleaned the blood droplets on the floor. In the midst of doing it, I fell down, face first...
I used to be your princess....
You thought I was an innocent one...
No, I'm not...
After you denied me, I feel everything fall on me...
I couldn't take the pain...
Don't worry...I'm still your princess....
YOUR SUICIDE PRINCESS.
