Choices and Even More Choices.

Is This Happiness?

I woke up feeling happy. I didn't have those killing myself thoughts ever since I met Liam. It was crazy. I wish we could talk again, because I had this feeling I just couldn't explain. As I get up to get something to eat, I just couldn't stop think about him. I don't know why. Maybe it was me falling in love with him. I don't know.

I decided to go out to get something to eat. I didn't want to stay in the house all day doing nothing. It was time to see the world, like I use to. I get in my car and drive to Chick-fil-a. I needed fresh air so I went inside and ordered my food. This restaurant was busy, like the usual. As I stand in line waiting for my time to order, someone taps me on the shoulder. It was Liam! 

"I didn't mean to scare you there." Said Liam.

"Oh hey! I didn't expect to see you here." I said, sounding surprised.

"Yeah, I'm just here to eat as you can see." Said Liam, trying not to laugh.

"So am I haha." I said laughing. 

I was the next one to give them my order. As I hear the cashier say "Next!"  I go and try to place my order, but Liam follows me. The nice young women asks me what I would like. I say I would like number 5. Then she turns to Liam and asks him what he wants and he gets the same thing I wanted. I pulled out my wallet to get the money. But Liam stops me and looks into my eyes with this beautiful blue eyes. Then he says, "Don't worry I will pay" I looked at him smiling, letting him pay for it. After he paid, we went to go take our seats.

"I will make sure to pay you back, Liam. Thank you for paying though." I said, smiling. 

He smiles back at me and says, "No worries, you do not need to pay me back."

I said, "Are you sure?"

"I am sure" Said Liam.

"So what made you come to chick-fil-a without your work suit?" I asked.

"Today is my day off and I haven't been to chick-fil-a in a while. So I thought today was a good day to go eat somewhere. Then I ran into you." Said Liam.

"Oh okay, well it is nice seeing you here." I said, trying not to blush.

I think he could tell that I was trying not to blush. I wonder if he has a family or a wife or something. I started being curious but I don't know if I should ask him. If I ask him he might think I'm desperate or something. Oh well I'm going to ask him anyway. You know because, I'm curious.

"Hey, could I ask you a question?" I asked Liam.

"Sure, what is your question?" Said Liam.

"Don't you have a family? or even a wife? If you don't mind me asking." I said, smiling.

He smiled right back at me and says, "Well I use to have a wife till we got divorced. But I do have one kid, his name is Eric." 

I looked down and Liam noticed my reaction. 

"Why? are you okay?" Asked Liam, sounding so worried.

I took a deep breath and said, "That was my husbands name." Trying not to sound so awkward.

"Oh.. I'm sorry.. I didn't..." said Liam, till I interrupted him.

"It's fine, Liam. I didn't mean to try to sound so sad. I just kind of miss him, you know?" I said to Liam trying to smile.

He smiled right back at me and says, "Yes, I completely understand. Don't worry about it, I'm there for you."

I felt really happy when he said he is there for me. I could imagine him holding me and telling me that he will always be there for me when I needed it. I think I am in love with him. I have no idea if he would even love me back. Some guys tend to give mixed signals to girls. Like I remember when I started liking Eric in college, he would give me mixed signals all the time. Then by the end of our freshman year at college, he finally told me he loved me. Oh boys, I don't blame them at all.

We finally got our food. We eat and eat till we are done. But we still continue to talk and have some nice, mini conversations. The way he looked at me was just a nice feeling, that I couldn't stop thinking about. And the way he smiles, oh boy. I think I am in love and I think he knows it too. I don't know if I'm even ready to move on myself. 

We got done eating. This was like our mini date but, only he didn't know it. We get our stuff together and head out the door.  He tries to hold my hand, and I let him. He walks me to my car and tells me to be safe. He dozes off into my eyes as I do the same into his eyes. I had that feeling he was going to do something. He puts his soft hand on my cheek then his lips touch mine. I couldn't believe it. He kissed me. I kiss him back, feeling fireworks around me. It was perfect. 

"Oh my gosh, that was perfect." I said out loud. "I mean, I'll call you?" Trying not to make it awkward.

Liam laughed at me and said, "Yes, you can. By the way it was perfect. I hope we can do this again."

I smile at him really hard, blushing and say, "Me too, I will call you." 

He walks away slowly, he looks right back at me and says, "I love you Lonnie." then he walks away to his car, smiling.

I get in my car as fast as I can and get excited. Did he just say, I love you Lonnie? Did he just kiss me? I had this feeling of happiness and I went really crazy about it. What if I can finally move on with Liam? Will Eric not get mad at me in heaven? I tried to avoid thinking about Eric because, he would probably feel happy for me to move on. If I were in his place I would let him be happy with another women, if I was dead. Anyway, I tried not to be so worried about Eric. I was focusing on being happy again. Which I think I will be able to be happy again. Not only be happy with him but happy with this baby. Oh, no but does he know that I am pregnant? I'm pretty sure, he knows. I don't know but I shouldn't be so stressed out about it. All I am worried about is my happiness. The happiness I will be receiving with Liam. He won't be my replacement for Eric, he will be my replacement for my happiness. But is this happiness?