Save me from the Evil Within Me

It was late afternoon. Or you assumed it was anyway. That was about the time you've been waking up the last few weeks. You turned over and glanced at the clock, confirming your thoughts. It was 2:53pm. You sit up and groan as all of your muscles tense up. You consider going back to bed for another minute or so but decide against. You'll already be up late tonight so there's no need to make it worse. So you get up to go get ready for what little of the day remains. Your stomach growls as you come out of the bathroom from washing up so you make your way to the kitchen. There's not much in your fridge or cabinets and you curse yourself for neglecting go shopping all week. The thought of having to go out makes you nauseous but you know it'll only be worse if you don't eat something. You think about maybe ordering in but the thought of talking to someone only adds to your nausea. So you do the only thing you can think of. Text your best friend, Ruhvik. It's been a few days since you've talked. You haven't really felt like it but he understands. He can be a bit distant sometimes too. He actually wanted to hang out yesterday but you didn't answer him. You couldn't let him see... what you did. He'd never understand why you hurt yourself. He could never forgive you or stay your friend. You don't blame him either. You don't know why you do it but you can't stop. You shake the thoughts from your head and text him. 'Hey Ruhv(: wanna have lunch at my place?' He responds immediately, as he usually does. As if he was waiting for your message all day. 'Of course, (y/n). I'd love to. I miss you very much.' That makes you smile. You've missed Ruhvik very much too. But you didn't have the energy to do anything. You didn't want to move or exist. So you ignored him, however hard it was. 'Cool(: see you soon.' You put your phone on the table and look for something to wear. You've had the same clothes on for 2 days now. You're looking for your favorite sweater to cover your arms up. You can't let Ruhvik see there's something wrong. When you don't see it on your closet you begin to panic, wondering where it could be. You move into the front room to look on the couch but stop in your tracks as you see Ruhvik letting himself in. You didn't here your phone go off since you left it in the other room. Ruhvik has been coming by long enough now that he has his own key. He smiles as he turns to see you but then immediately frowns at the state you in. "(y/n) what happened?! Who hurt you?" He asked as he runs to your side. You pull away from him and look towards the ground. "No one. I'm fine. Don't worry about me." You decide to look up again but regret it as soon as you notice the hurt and confusion in his eyes. "Of course I worry about you, (y/n). I care for you." He reaches out to caress your check gently. You lean into the touch and close your eyes so you don't shed the now welling tears. "I'm sorry, Ruhvik. I didn't want to. But I was hurting so bad it was the only thing I could think of. Please don't hate me. I couldn't bare it." You look at him with pleading eyes, no longer caring if he saw the tears. You brought your hand up to hold his in place against your cheek. Ruhvik brings his other hand up to wipe away the tears. Once done, he moves it to the back of your head to gently bring you forward and places a soft kiss on your forehead. "I could never hate you, (y/n). I never will hate you." You smile and it feels natural. The first one you didn't have to force in weeks. "But please, try never to harm yourself again. It pains me to know you have been suffering and I was not there to help you." You look down embarrassed but Ruhvik lifts your head back up almost immediately. "Don't be embarrassed. Things like this happen. It's not something to feel bad about ever. Just know now I am here for you, (y/n). You're not alone and never will be." All you can do in response is pull Ruhvik into a tight hug. He wraps his arms around you and holds you close, rubbing soothing circles into your back. You feel lighter then earlier and no longer regret not going shopping earlier this week. You wouldn't be in your loves arms right now if you had.