My Perfect Tragedy

Prologue

Only A Click Away

Public Speaking is practically a suicide mission if you have anxiety.

And it's just not only about stuttering in center stage and getting embarrassed - media and press capturing every second of what you do- but also about the preparation of the whole thing, people running around, the nervous aura of the whole place, your reputation, and all the motion and noise just makes me nervous. And this is just one of the many things I'm not trying to think about as I sit helplessly getting my make up done.

"I'm sorry what did you say?" I ask Wendy again as my make up artist dabs some powder on my face which made me cough when a cloud of powder filled the air almost suffocating which she quickly apologized about.

"You're not listening Nikki" She says frustration shining through her voice as she rests her head on her hand but I wouldn't blame her, from all the things happening all at once I really wasn't paying attention.

"Look, I'm sorry I was just thinking about my script, I'm gonna listen now" I say turning away from the make up artist and looking at Wendy but quickly sitting properly again.

It doesn't take a psychiatrist to know that I was really getting nervous, my stomach was doing flips, I wasn't focusing, my hands were getting clammy, my breathing wasn't even, and I was turning into a huge mess.

"This is the last time I'm gonna say this, okay? You and Lucas will be hosting your parents' charity event party, and you and I know very well that your parents host the biggest charity event in the U.S so you better not mess this up for the sake of your reputation and your parents'"

Yeah jeez, no pressure at all.

"And you're not gonna be hosting it alone, your escort/ partner will be Lucas James Smith heir of Bios, one of the largest restaurant companies in the U.S. Will that be okay with you?"

And as soon as she said that I let out a sigh of relief I didn't know I was holding, thinking that i'm not gonna be in this alone is practically a blessing, other people would be sad that they're not gonna be the center of attention but I've had my fair share and I know it sounds childish but at least the center of attention won't only be on me.

"Of course, what does their company do?" I ask Wendy as I text Nate asking if he's here already, my fingers trembling and clammy making the screen slippery. Calm down Nicole you're gonna be fine, I hope as I close my eyes and take a breathe.

"Well, they have special meals that you order, and if you order that specific meal the income is given to charity, pretty cool right? It's like a secret menu or something." Wendy said her eyes twinkling from the light. Well it is a pretty cool idea to have, I wonder why I haven't thought of that. I suddenly get a call from Nate, and as cheesy as it sounds my heart starts to calm down. Almost.

"Why hello there Mr. Lopez" I say as I take a Xanax to calm the nerves down.

"And hello to you too, why aren't you all grown up hosting your parents' charity event." He says laughing which causes me to laugh as well.

"Well I was kind of forced into it." I say my voice jumpy, what if I stutter or fall on stage? Gosh wouldn't that be embarrassing!

"Hey don't get all nervous on me now, I can just hear it in your voice, you know?" He says in attempt to cheer me up, but I still got nervous. That has been such a bad habit of mine since I was young. Every time I would perform on stage I won't forget anything, but before that I would always get so nervous my hands would start trembling, I start sweating, and over all just start panicking. But now that I took the Xanax I really hope that it will work, just for once let me enjoy what i'm doing with out constantly worrying, just for once let me enjoy what I love doing.