As I walk into the doors I see the halls crowded, shaking I walk down the hall to my locker, I put my stuff in and head onto class, the teacher introduces me "Hello class this is our new student her name is Emma" they don't pay any attention of course and I take a seat. As I'm sitting down I can hear people saying "oh so that's the new girl? I thought she'd be more pretty" I try and let it not bother me. 20 minutes goes by and this guy keeps staring at me, he must think I'm ugly I say to myself. Class ends and we go to lunch, I don't have any friends so I get my food and go to the bathroom. I used to sit in the bathroom every day at lunch at my old school so it doesn't bother me anymore. These girls come in not knowing I'm in the stall. One girl said "did y'all see that new girl?" Her friend said "oh Yea! Emma wasn't it? Shes so ugly why is she even here? I heard she got arrested." They walk out and I cry and wonder why they think I got arrested and why doesn't anyone like me? Lunch ends and I go back to class, that guy keeps looking at me. Is there something on my face? I think to myself. I ask to go to the bathroom and he let's me, I look in the mirror and there's nothing on my face so I look at me hair and my teeth just checking over to see if I look okay. I walk back to class and finish my work, I have my headphones in listening to ptv and I know they can hear it because they keep looking at me but I don't care because it's better then hearing them talk Shit on me. The bell rings and I get on the bus, I sit all the way in the back in that one person seat and stare out the window with my legs up to my stomach. People keep looking at me and I feel them talking Shit so I turn my music down so I can hear what they are saying. "She is so stupid if she thinks she can just come here and think she fits in" one girl said and then a guy said "I know right? Shes so ugly". I turn up my music and start to cry a little but I'm trying to hold back the tears so people don't see. I get off the bus and the same girl gets off with me, she looks at me and says "Ew you live by me" and pushes me down and walks away. I get up and run home crying, as I walk into my house my parents are fighting but I'm not surprised. I go to my room throw my stuff onto my bed and go into the bathroom. I look into the mirror and cry saying "why can't I be pretty like everyone else?" I run a bath and I get out my razor I make cuts on my thighs and watch the blood pour out of me. Its beautiful I say as I trace over the cutts with my fingers. I lay back and fall asleep. I wake up to the sound of my brother banging on the door yelling that dinners ready. "Okay" I said and wash myself and get out. I put on a towel and walk into my room I bandage the cuts then put on Pajama pants and a black tank top and and go downstairs asking what we are eating. "Spaghetti" my mom says. I get my food and head back up to my room, my mom yells at me saying "Emma get down here!". I go back downstairs and I ask what and she says "you have to eat with us tonight". I get scared because I never eat with them unless they need to talk to me about something. We sit down and my mom says "sweetie as you may know me and your father have been fighting a lot and we just aren't happy anymore" I say "Yea.." with a shaky voice my dad says "we are getting a divorce", I freeze in shock and run up to my room to cry. When I get in my room I run into the bathroom and lock it and my parents come in and say "it's gonna be okay and that they are sorry" I yell "GO AWAY!" and I hear the door shut. I slide down the wall onto the cold tile floor and cry, I think what's the point nobody loves me. I cut some more but this time deeper and on my thighs, arms, and stomach. I watch the blood come out of my body and I just lay there in silence. I stare at the wall thinking of how hard everything is and how everything is falling apart. I call my best friend who lives in California and tell her what happened at school and what's happening to my parents. She says "I am so sorry hun. I wish I could be there with you and I will be soon I promise I'll find a way. Just please stay strong untill I get to come down and then you can cry in my arms and I'll hold you and we will watch a movie and eat popcorn and ice cream and just talk about what's going on" I say "okay. I love you I'm going to bed tho I miss you like crazy Lisa you are the only one who understands" she says "I will always be here for you baby girl no matter what. No matter if we are 36 hours away or not. Goodnight sweetie sleep well and I love you so much" then we hang up. I look in the mirror and see how ugly I am and cry. I go lay down and fall asleep.
