I'm Crazy About You

It Only Gets Worse

Its me. I never thought love would have such a big impact on me. I usually always thought it was something you had to get through your brain, but now its something you need to get through your heart.

Im not like other teenage girls who spend their days at the mall. I prefer heading outside and playing a sport and listening to any kind of music. No specifics. Thats what I live for. I have this bestfriend. Her name is Brisa. She isnt like other teenage girls either. Thats why we bonded so quickly. She wears black way to much and she likes rock music and staying indoors. Thats what she lives for. We imediadlty bonded. When I first started highschool I seen a black hoodie and I immediately thought "That's going to be my bestfriend". And she is. She has a boyfriend and to be honest Im pretty jealous of that. I see her snapchats and when shes with him I get, I dont know, I get angry. Mainly because she has someone that loves her. Eveytime she talks about him or what they did, or where they went, something goes over me that makes me what to burst out in tears. I envy Brisa for being so beautiful that even her boyfriend gets scared some other dude will take her away from him. I find that pleasing to even hear. Call me crazy for being jealous of my bestfriends love life but, its true I'm jealous sometimes the thought of love horrifies me..

Have you ever had this horrifying thought go through your head that gives you goosebumps or even makes you feel sick just by even imagining it? Yeah its happened.
Except mines is not what you would normally expect. You would usually expect the idea or getting stabbed multiple time horrifying or getting chewed up by godzilla horrifying, but when "Whats the most horrifying thing you wouldnt want to experience?" went through my head, the first thing that poped up was. Love. Crazy huh? I mean everyone tells me live is beutiful but I cant seem to put my finger on it. To me I feel like it doesnt exist in my life. Trust me I've opened up way to much and thats the main reason why I let love get to me.
So I told myself
"Never fall in love babygirl, it only gets worse"