I was only about 5 years old when I figured out what he was doing to me. I was now and forever broken. He took the thing that made me human. He took the good and put in bad. He made me cry but I never told a soul. I never told what he did to me. But it's time to open up...
My mom and dad split up when I was younger. And I hated it. But I learned to live with it. But then my mom started to take me to see my uncle, my dad's brother. And that when things started to go wrong. Me and my two brothers would sleep next to him at night and some how I ended up next to him. But I never thought a thing of it. I never thought this could ever happen to me. But it did. He would put his hand down my pants and touch me in a way no one ever should. I never knew what he was doing so I never said a thing. I always just pretended to be asleep.
Then when I was about 9 years old I realized what he had been doing to me all these years. And the next time he did that I pulled away from him and began to cry. I told him I wanted my dad and that I didn't want him to touch me. But it was stuck in my head that no one should ever know or I would be looked at as disgusting and unwanted. So I've kept it to myself and almost every night up until he moved to Mexico I cried myself to sleep, scared that he would come back to get me and hurt me mentally again.
For the rest of my life I will feel unsafe around my family because of him. I will be different to myself when I look in the mirror. I will always see myself differently then I should. A part of me wishes he would die and the other wants to protect him. I know it's wrong but it's been almost 11 years since it all started. And I just don't want it to come back into my life.
My mind is like a cage and my mouth is the door. I shall not open without the key. But I have found the key under my pillow and now I am free.
