Prologue/Intro
Everyone has felt pain. Everyone has regrets. We are all born into a world that, from the moment we open our eyes, categorizes us, stereotypes us, leads us to believe that if we aren't dressed a certain way, look a certain way, or act a certain way, that we aren't enough. Everyone experiences this different, unbeknownst to the ways the "perfect person" is advertised to us. Until one day, you look in the mirror and ache to change something about yourself, maybe even absolutely hate yourself. We all deal with our insecurities, our fears, our worries, our pain, differently. We all want to be someone, to make someone of ourselves, to escape our present. We all have our own story. So what's yours?
***
I lifted the packet to my cheek; soaking in every detail. The crisp, white paper was still warm, hot off the printer. The ink was slightly smudged in places where impatient hands had grabbed it a bit too quickly. I laid it gently on the mahogany table in front of me, it was absolutely perfect. I gripped my pen in one hand, and lightly traced the empty line at the bottom of the contract with my index finger. All I had to do was sign it, and I would be able to live my dream. It was overwhelming. Overwhelming, in the sense that, if I stepped back and really allowed myself to picture it and believe in it, my entire body would shiver with the mere idea of possibility. The wish that, moments ago had seemed an impossible dream was suddenly, finally a possible reality, MY possible reality. And truthfully the idea filled me with a nervous fear that radiated through my bones and coursed deep into my heart. It was that kind of overwhelming, one that is rarely felt more than once in a lifetime. I let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding in before I touched the pen to the paper, it was no longer unscathed, it's perfection tarnished; yet as each one of my band members signed their names to it, each imperfection, each name that tattooed it's surface, made it all the more perfect.
Feeling beyond happy, I exited the stuffy office space that I'd grown to love over the past month, following my closest friends. The moment was perfect. Though my serene, dream-like state was interrupted abruptly, with an unmistakable voice, one belonging to none other than my closest and dearest friend, Kyra Mackenzie Beckett, or as she likes to be called, Kai.
"Now what?" She grinned over at me. A mischievous smile played on her lips as she shielded her eyes from the bright Los Angeles sun. I squinted over at her, the sunny sky a complete contrast to the dreary building we'd just exited.
"Um well...I guess we could go back to the flat an-" I was cut off mid sentence by a Miss Melina Luciano, a 19 year old who could pass for 13, but a force to be reckoned with all the same.
"Oh hell no. We just got signed to a record label, we, are celebrating!" I cringed slightly and Melina smirked, knowing Casey, the last but not least of our quartet, and I would both immediately dismiss the idea for a relaxing night in instead. Though we would never get our way anyhow.
Melina is quite tiny compared to the rest of us. She's 5' 2" and skinny as a rail. If you didn't know her you'd think she was fragile, someone to be easily blown away by the wind, but I do know her; and she is the most strong willed person I've ever met. Getting on her bad side is the equivalent, if not worse, than being thrown into a pit of giant spiders with nothing to defend yourself but a paperclip. She is fiercely protective over all of us, but mostly Casey. She's of Italian descent, and her skin is a deep olive color and she has very light brown eyes and long, wavy, silken black hair. She also has a boyfriend who looks like a Greek model and reminds me of a puppy dog. His name is Gabriel, and they are so perfect and lovey-dovey that it makes the rest of us feel sick, depressed, and lonely.
She sauntered over and placed her hands on my shoulders, wobbling slightly in her stiletto boots that she insisted on wearing on a daily basis. She had to look up to see me, the outrageous boots she was wearing barely bringing her to my shoulder level. "Sweetie," she began, "I know you are a big believer in sitting around at home doing nothing and eating, but" she took a long pause. She was the oldest of our band, and so she made it her responsibility to basically mother us, but at times, she could also be the most irresponsible party girl on the planet. "You need to live a little!!!" she smiled cynically at me. She started pulling me behind her towards our car, I looked back to see that Kyra and Casey giggling.
"I'll call you girls later with the details!" Our manager Cameron called to us from the door of the building, seeing the worried look on my face as I was dragged away by my three closest friends.
***
Instead of going out to celebrate like Melina had suggested, we ended up staying in. After all the fuss and picking outfits and make-up, Melina decided to abandon us, and gone off to visit her boyfriend before he went back to college in a few days. The rest of us were quite glad to change out of the skimpy clothing and into pajamas and to kick back and watch some crappy comedies after our past couple long and stressful weeks. I went over them in my mind while Kai and Casey fought over what to order for dinner and which movie we should watch...
We had been practicing like normal, if you could call it that. Mostly band practice entailed Casey passing out on the couch or reading a book, having given up on the rest of us who were sprawled about. Melina banging hopelessly on Casey's drum set or trying to write a song, while Kyra and I took horrible pictures/videos of each other doing stupid/life-threatening acts. The productivity level was, as you may see, extremely low, and someone always seemed to be pissed at someone else. But, despite everything we all manage to stick together quite well, we've become a sisterhood, with each of us given a role to play.
Casey James is the intelligent and studious one of all of us, and also the youngest by a year. At the time, she was sixteen, Kyra and I both seventeen, and Melina almost nineteen. Casey is short for Cassandra, but for some reason we've never called her that, she's a bit of a tomboy and the name Casey just seemed to fit. We adore her and think of her as our little sister that we need to protect, when in reality she is probably the most responsible and self-sufficient one of us all. She has dark blonde hair and deep, dark green eyes, the color of pine trees. She's about 5'8" and next to me is the tallest.
I am tall about 5'11" and am very awkward and clumsy and almost never without a bruise or scrape. I have curlyish brown hair, and hazel eyes. I guess you could say I'm smart, but the lack of motivation towards anything and everything in my life has always left me as average in school. I'd like to think I'm funny, but the only person who seems to laugh at my jokes is Kai, and we both have a twisted sense of humor that others usually don't seem to get.
Kai is my twin. Though we aren't related she is the closest I'll ever have to a sister, and we can be so alike it's frightening. Though our personalities are very much alike, our physical features are not. Kai is shorter than me about 5'5" and has short blonde hair that is slightly wavy. Her eyes always seem to be changing from blue to green to hazel. We can both be a bit lazy, but put us in the same room and something exciting is bound to happen.
Kai and I started our band when we were fifteen. We had always talked about creating one, throwing names around messing with instruments, and jokingly writing songs, but it wasn't until we met Melina and Casey that we actually agreed to create one. Casey became our drummer Kyra, Melina, and I all wrote, we all sang, and all of us could play guitar, and Kyra and I some piano. I'm not sure how it all happened exactly, but we just sort of fell into a routine of writing and playing and practicing, really just for the fun of it. Then one day we just took off and before we knew it we had creating our own "girl band".
Anyways, I'm getting off track, Melina's boyfriend's brother (confusing I know) worked in a recording studio, and let us use it after hours for a much cheaper price. One night a few months later, we were practicing, like for real practicing for the first time ever, and when we looked up from our instruments after a set Cameron was standing there. He worked with one of the labels that are a branch of Capitol Records, and thought we had talent. We were put through a rigorous vocal/instrumental/dancing boot camp, and came out a signed band.
***
So here I am, in a cramped flat that I share with my three best friends in Santa Monica, pursuing our dreams, and taking college classes online.
