Story of April Hall

Prolouge

Sent; Sunday, March 16th, 9:35 P.M.

Ashleigh,

If I tried explaining this to you in person you probably would understand, 

you probably would try to stop me, and I probably would let you.

 So I had to do this over text like this and I am sorry.

 You may not understand why I did this and god

 I hope you never understand why I did what I did.

 I fell in love Ash, with the wrong person... and look where that got me.

 I really wish I could tell you everything because you are my best friend,

 practically my little sister. All I'm going to say is be careful what you wish

 for and whom you fall in love with. I NEED you to understand that what I did was

 all my doing, but the reason is someone else's doing and I forgive that person.

 I know right, it's so like me to forgive and forget. As kids we said that if one of us dies 

then the other goes too, I want you to know that this is different.

 I've been battling for a while now, and what happened was the last straw. 

Please tell everyone that I love them so much, and I am truly sorry.

 I had to do this for not only my own sake but yours too... it isn't your fault though

 that I chose to protect you from the truth. Remember that one month about

 4 years ago in about 8th grade when I stayed home. My parents told you I had a high fever; 

well they lied because I asked them too. I was in a mental hospital because couldn't be

 happy and I tried. I guess after that it got better seeing as I didn't try but since last

 month when THAT happened, my problem came back and hit me hard.

 I can't handle it, knowing what happened, I can't tell you and in the 

end that is the part that hits me the most. I'm truly sorry though for everything

 I have put you through and everything I will put you through. I can't tell you

 word for word why I'm doing this and I am truly sorry. Trust me this sucks,

 not being able to tell you everything that happened. If I could tell someone 

you would have been the first person I'd have gone to. This is different.

 I don't want you to turn into what I have become. I love you too much to do that to you. 

So I beg that you move on for my sake. I know you and I know that you pretend

 to be strong just like when your little sister died. You pretend to be strong

 but crumble inside and one day. I was there the last time it happened,

 I picked you up and put you together. Ash this time you have to be

 strong and put yourself together, I won't be there. While you're reading this I will 

probably be in my bedroom sprawled across my bed with empty pill bottles. 

It isn't your fault so I am really sorry. You will forever be my best friend

 Ashleigh Marie Anderson. I love you and I'm sorry... I hope that one day you get over this

 and one day you forgive me.

                                                                    With all my love,

                                                                                April  Hall