Things Remembered

There was, I swear

First, there was mystery.

Encounters, fleeting - chance meetings in hallways, sightings in crowded living rooms, both of us drunk on cheap liquor and adrenaline. 

There were glances. The kind others like to term stolen, but I call bartered. Me and you, one tireless exchange flaunted in classrooms, cafeterias, libraries and sidewalks. One look for me, another for you. Never words, just expressions. Blushes and nods, secrets and smiles.  There were always smiles.

For a while, there were just questions, never asked aloud, only shouted in our own infatuated heads- your name, my interests, your goals, my bra size. ‘Please don’t be gay, please don’t be spoken for.’

From our distant perches, we became skillful biographers. Gaps were constantly filled by imagined plot lines: you were an eldest child. Liked dogs - hated pineapples. I could dance the Flamenco, dabbled in poetry when the wine hit just right. Later, much much later, underneath your eldest sister’s willow trees, there was laughter at these inaccuracies- at my own two left feet, at your love for that prickly fruit. No dogs, just cats.

With time there were fights. Some with pillows, others provoked just to reassure ourselves we both still cared.

But there were always apologies. Some whispered at the precipices of sleep, others occasionally articulated through omelets in bed, or flowers at doorsteps, and even more rarely - dishes done without asking.

But they were genuine, those little apologies.

There were Morse code “I love you’s” and a mattress negotiated into a ‘My’ side and a ‘Your’ side. It was an unspoken peace treaty – with borders rarely enforced.

There was a date on the calendar adorned with hand-drawn hearts.

There was a little side wink I always loved, a little hip shake you couldn’t quite get enough of.

There were late night devotions of eternal love.

There were unspoken dreams for the future.

There was- there were...

We were once lionhearted newcomers- to college, to love, to the paradoxes of adulthood. And together, from these two strangers- there became a “we,” an “us.”

There were many things.

There was- there were... there was… there were…

And now, during the silence eternally wedded to the depths of night, I lay awake reminding myself, like a mantra, (or maybe a prayer?) that indeed, in a different place, and in an obscure time, ‘there was.’

There was- there were... there was… there were…

Because, of course, there too, was always a war.