- 20 Weeks Pregnant -
I hated bed rest.
It was the absolute worst. I felt so stupid and helpless making everybody do things for me. Krystal and my mom took turns babysitting me. My mom during the day when she wasn't working or sleeping, and Krystal after school and all night.
But thankfully, today was the day I found out if the bed rest worked. Today was the official 20 week appointment. Megan had promised me that if all was good and Taylor was still stable, I was done bed rest.
Unfortunately, she also told me that if there is anything abnormal or any more spotting I was stuck on bed rest until the end of my pregnancy. That was 20 more weeks, at least.
I wasn't going to let that happen.
Today had to go perfectly.
My talk with Justin had been bad. It had started off awkward but turned quickly bad when I mentioned my stress and he thought I was blaming him. Then he said he'd be here for the appointment and hung up on me.
But other than that, I hadn't stressed at all for 3 weeks. Not that I had much choice. There's only so much you can stress about from your bed.
It was almost time for my mom to get home and for Krystal to leave for school, so she was rifling through my drawers for clothes to wear.
"Have you spoken to Connor lately?" She mumbled pulling out a shirt and holding it up, "I saw him yesterday. He looked good."
"Are you going to date him?" I mumbled looking up from my book. I had started re-reading The Hunger Games, "He's a good kisser."
"Are you giving me your blessing?"
I shrugged, "If you want it I guess."
She pulled off her shirt and pulled a new one on, "I'm calling bullshit. You love him."
"I love-" I was about to say Justin but I held it back.
Krystal turned to me, "Justin?" She mumbled, "Obviously. He's your baby daddy."
"Don't say it like that." I groaned, "It makes me feel dirty to hear it like that."
"But its true."
I glared at her as she dropped her pajama shorts, "You're rude."
"And you're grumpy." She pulled a skirt on and tucked her shirt into it, "I'm wearing your boots."
"No," I snapped, "I'm wearing those today."
She laughed and rolled her eyes, "No you're not. Your feet are swollen beyond the point you could jam them into these." She was already pulling them on, "You can wear them after Tay is born."
"I hate that nickname." I bit my cheek and flipped the page, "Reminds me of Taylor Swift. I don't like her."
"Then I cant call her Tay?"
I shrugged, "As long as I'm not around."
She smiled and walked over to the other side of my bed, "Okay. I'm off. Mother should be home soon." Then,as if on cue, a car door slammed outside my window, "Speak of the devil."
We heard the front door opened a few seconds later as Krystal grabbed her bag and books.
"I'm home!" My mom called through the house.
"We know!" I called back then looked at Krystal, "Cant you stay?"
"God no." She smiled, "You're mean to me."
I grabbed her wrist, "She treats me like a baby."
"You're acting like a baby," Krystal kissed my forehead and tugged her arm away from me, "See you after school!"
I watched as she left, leaving my bedroom door wide open, "Bitch." I mumbled. Then the front door opened and closed again.
My mom chose that moment to walk into my room, "What do you want for breakfast? I can make pancakes."
I sighed, "Whatever."
I shifted my glance back down to my book and she sighed at the doorway, "Serrina, we are all doing our best to make you happy. Don't make it so difficult."
"I'm not allowed to stress, mom." I knew I was being a bitch but I couldn't help it. I felt alone.
She nodded and left the room.
******
I didn't know what to wear. I knew Justin was going to see me for the first time in weeks and even though we weren't on great terms, I wanted him to think I looked pretty.
I settled on a floral dress and leggings, only so that I didn't have to show off my granny panties when I had to expose myself. That was the last thing I wanted Justin to see.
Since when had I become so eager to please him?
I had never been like this before. Maybe it was because I was lonely.
"Serrina," My mom was knocking on my bedroom door now, "We're going to be late."
I nodded and threw my hair into a bun. I wasn't wearing makeup, but I could count on one hand the number of time Justin had seen me wearing anything more than mascara.
"I need your help. My legs..." I mumbled and the door creaked open.
"Sore?"
I nodded and she helped me out of the bed. I had been able to walk around my room, but the bed rest had killed any muscle toning I had in my legs. It was embarrassing to have my mom helping me walk to the car but I wouldn't have made it on my own.
We listened to 80's music on the way there and when we pulled outside of the clinic my mom sighed.
"Do you want me to go grab a wheelchair? If Megan sees you walking you wont hear the end of it."
I nodded and watched as she walked away and into the building, returning a few seconds later with a chair. That was the moment Justin's driver pulled into the parking lot.
Mom ignored the approaching car and helped me get into the chair before closing the passenger side door.
Then I heard his voice, "You okay?" I turned my head and saw Justin walking up the walkway behind us.
"Bed rest," I mumbled, "I'm fine." He was here but I didn't feel any better. If anything I felt worse.
Then mom spoke up, "Well, since you're here why don't you take Serrina inside? I'll go get myself a coffee while you're in."
"You're leaving?" NO. Don't leave me alone with him yet!
She didn't reply to me, just got in her car and waved to us as Justin took the handles on the chair and started pushing me into the office.
"Are you really okay?" He mumbled.
I rolled my eyes, "I can't walk without being in pain. I have 24 hour babysitters and I don't know if I'm going to be allowed to move for the next 4 and a half months."
He hesitated, "So, no."
I nodded, "No."
"Has she been really mobile?" He was referring to Taylor.
The receptionist saw us walk in and waved at us. Justin stopped me in front of a chair and he sat in it, facing me.
"Take a feel. Not as much but still a lot." I uncrossed my arms and exposed my round belly, "There isn't as much room for her to move around now."
He stared at it, "You're bigger." It almost looked like he was surprised.
"I'm 20 weeks. I'm huge." And you haven't seen me in over 3 weeks.
"McNeilson?" I turned my head and saw the receptionist waiting for us.
Justin stood up then paused. I looked at him funny, "You have to push me." He laughed and nodded, grabbing the chair and taking us back to the check up room.
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