Hi,
My name is Olivia. I’m not sure if you know me, but I know you. Or know about you – same thing. Although, I'm pretty sure we had a couple conversations here and there... I know that it might sound a little crazy – well, scratch that. It is crazy. But I just wanted you to know me! I know, I know, why couldn’t I just be brave and approach you like a normal person, right? Well, these last four years have been anything, but normal.
So.
Where do I start?
Remember the 8th grade’s Spring Fling Dance? Do you remember the girl who was standing alone in the corner, fidgeting, just waiting for someone to look her way and remotely even consider her as a dance partner? That was me, Olivia Parker. Brace face and ugly yellow dress.
Yup.
Lemon Yellow just isn’t my color – it still makes me look sick and splotchy at the same time. I mean, come on, really, a yellow, poufy dress? I looked like a chicken! Chicken! I really like eating chicken by the way. Oh my gosh, I am rambling. Anyways, the point is: as the dance was coming to a close and I was still standing in the corner with a cup of juice. I was on the verge of crying. I felt bad for myself and I felt like I deserved it – I mean really, who would want to dance with such an ugly girl? I wouldn't… Maybe, not sure. And now you’re wondering what this has to do with you, right? You’re not even sure if you had even been to the 8th grade Spring Fling, huh?
Trust me.
You were there.
And although you might not have been as cute as you are today, you were pretty damn adorable. You had this little neck tie and this blue tuxedo (which you didn’t quite pull off, but we all learn from our mistakes). And as the last songs were playing, you bumped into me and my dress was drenched in punch. Good riddance if I say so myself. Of course, you apologized. By then though, I was bawling my eyes out, telling you my life story without even introducing myself. You stared at me in what I can only assume was shock because your eyes were bulging wide and your mouth needed a zipper for it hung open so big. At this point at the dance, I didn’t care much about what was happening, I just wanted someone to dance with me and make me feel, well, normal.
I would like to bet that you probably never had a bad – WAIT, WAIT! You have, of course. We are human, after all.
Long story short – you pulled me up with what little strength you had – I was kinda chubby then. And from there, we danced all night until your mom came and pick you up which was about a minute and thirty seconds into the song. But nonetheless, you still danced with me. I don’t care for the reason why you did it; honestly, I think it was because you felt sorry for me and sorry for ruining my dress.
It was the best night of the entire year.
Freshman year was blah. I mean it was eighth grade all over again except with more scary looking people? I hate freshman year; people are so mean. All I remember of Freshman year was, “What are you looking at?” and of course, Freshman Friday. I’m glad I’m a girl – no dumpsters for me, but getting cornered in the bathroom was not fun. Not fun at all. I don’t understand how some people can be so mean.
I cried all the way home. My eyes were very swollen and the next day, I couldn’t even open them. You must be noticing a trend now with me and tears. I can’t help but be emotional. Thankfully, my skin is a little thicker now.
Let’s flash forward a bit in time and now we’re in senior year.
You’re Captain of the Baseball team now. And I’m in band, playing the clarinet – I actually have some boobs at this point and my braces are off. Guys are now looking at me. We also have some classes together, but I don’t think I left a very good impression on you because you could never remember my name despite us being in the same classes over the years. I had my first heartbreak as well – he didn’t like me as much as I liked him. There were so many regrets senior year. I wish I had never gotten drunk at Stacey Bell’s party. I wish so many things happened differently. I wish I was never with him.
If you’re still reading at this point, you must be wondering what does this have to do with you.
Everything.
Even though you don’t remember my name and you danced with me out of pity, you are still my hero. That’s right, my hero. Maybe it was because I had just lost all of my friends. Maybe it was because life just wasn’t turning out like I wanted. Maybe it was just something else or all of the above.
You’re my hero.
There was a twinkle in your eyes as you said this to me, “Life is like a boat,”
I was so freaking confused.
“Sometimes the waves are rocky and dangerous and sometimes you fall over board, but life is a ship yard full of sunken ships. You gotta crash in order to learn. Only a few of those truly strong survive.”
I still don’t understand what you mean. But I appreciate the sentiments.
As we leave on our separate paths, I hope you understand how you made me feel: normal. Thanks.
I mean you always had the brightest smiles and corniest jokes and the loudest laugh.
I hope everything that comes your way is not wicked, but full of goodness and luck when we leave to go to college. Who knows what will happen? Maybe I’ll still be crying my heart out, but don’t worry about me, I’ll sail on.
By the way, before I close off this letter, I finally learned how to ride a bike. It only took ten years and more, but I got it down. Sometimes, you do have to hurt a little in order to learn a lot. There was a lot of knee scraping involved and a lot of band aids for your information, mister. I’m glad I decided to write this letter.
Hello and goodbye.
Good luck and I wish you well.
I think I might have even loved you at one point.
Forever your friend,
Olivia
