Diaries :Journey from hatred to love

Kashaf 20 february.

Zaroon bhi hadh karta hai.  Mujhe yeh tavakku nahi thi ki woh shaadi ke bad bhi dusri ladkiyon ko dekhta phirega. Waise honi chahiye thi aisi tavakku mujhe usse. Pehle din se hi woh aisa hai.  Haan beech mein kuch tabdili ayi thi magar ab waqt ke saath woh bhi chali gayi. Din bhar to woh mere pas nahi aya. In fact kamre me bhi nahi aya.Shayad woh mera gusse ke shant hone ka intezar kar raha tha.
Sham ko wo akhir kamre me aya. Muh jhuka hua hi tha magar woh mere bagal me akar baith gaya.
"Kashaf kab tak gussa rehne ka irada hai? "
Maine uski taraf kadi nazar se dekha.
"Acha ab mujhe maaf bhi kar do na. Ainda main ehtehad karunga. "
"Ehtehad karoge?  Shayad sirf mere saamne. "
"Haan tumhare samne toh special ehtehad karna hoga hi. "
Usne hasi ko dabate huye kaha.
"Matlab mere peche tum ladkiyon se flirt kiya karoge. "
"Peche nahi par todhi bohot toh kar hi sakte hai.Fitrat toh itni jaldi nahi badlti. "
Wo mujhe tang karne ke andaz me kehta raha.
"Main hi bewakuf thi jo sochti thi tum badal gaye ho.Theek hi rai thi meri tumhare bare mein. "
"Acha kya rai hua karti thi? "
Usne mera hath pakadte huye pucha. Jise jhirakte huye maine kaha
"Ki tum ek nehaiti flirt aur cheap mard ho. Pehle hi din maine yeh janch liya tha. Jab tumne us air hostess ko bhi nahi chora tha. "
Kuch dair toh wo sochta raha phir usne kaha
"Acha.. woh arre wah tumhe aj tak yaad hai? "
"Ji yaad toh rakhna hi hai. "
"Haan, main hoon hi aisa.Yaad toh rahega hi.  "
"Haan  kyu ki wo meri zindagi ka sabse kharab safar tha."
"Haan khair main bhi yehi sochta tha magar ab nahi kyu ki agar maine woh safar nahi kiya hota toh shayad tum meri baazu mein na baithi hoti. Lekin tumhe kya lagta hai us air hostess ko bhi main yaad honga?  Tumhe uska kuch naam wagera yaad hai kya ? Kaun si airlines thi? "
"Zaroon tum nahi sudhroge na."
maine kuch haste huye kaha kyu ki uski poichli baat se mujhe humare rishte ki ehmiyat ka kuch andaza hone laga tha.
"Tum kya chahti ho main sudhru? "
Usne kuch kareeb ate huye kaha.
"Shayad.  "
Maine ankhe bandh karte huye kaha kyun ki ab uski kareebi se main beparwah nahi ho pa rahi thi.
Usne halke se mere sar ko chumte huye mera hath pakda aur kehne laga
"Kashaf tum mere liye eham ho. Main tumhare bina kabhi nahi reh sakunga. Mujhe kabhi chorna mat."
"Aisi harkatein karoge to shayad chor doon. "
Maine hath churate huye aur dusri odh mudte huye kaha.
"Reh sakogi mere bina. "
Usne mere haath ko pakadte huye pucha.
"Tum shayad mera jawab jante ho. "
"Main sunna chahta hoon."
Usne phir mujhe overpower karne ki koshish ki par maine uske hathon ko churate huye kaha
"Badi khushi se rahungi aur maaze mein. "
"Badi zalim ho yaar tum"
"Wo toh main hoon"