Nothing Like Us (Larry Stylinson )

I look at you from across the room. But you don't look at me at all. I stare at his beautiful features. His short legs to his curves to his for arms up his neck his cheekbones. Then his eyes. The blue pigment of his eyes are so clear. I could see myself in them. I used to stare at them all day and you will stare back. But now I could barley get a glance out of you. I look at how you interact with her. It doesn't even seem like your trying. Were you just leading me on? Like a puppet. When your with her you show he off and have your arm around her all Lovey dovey. I wish we could have done that. In public. But now there isn't a we no more. All because of one decision. One decision that changed everything. You just have it up. Gave up us. Why? Why was it so easy for you? For me it was like a recking ball hitting me to a thousand peaces. Shattering into micro peaces. Shattered and the peaces are thrown around. I cannot seem to find them. Was all the stuff we did and said a lie?Was it worth all the trouble we went though?Please tell me. I need to know. I need to pick myself up. Mend the peaces. But I need to know. Were you scared? Were you ashamed?Did you not love me after all?Please I need the answer. I'm breaking more and more. Just seeing you and her together. I don't understand. How you could just push me away. I gave you everything. Everything I had. My friendship My loveMy virgenityMy trustMy loyaltyWas it not enough?Was I not good enough?I wish you would have told me. Then I would have given it to you. I don't think I could find another person like you. Like us. We were so perfect. But you had to push me away. Was it a allusion? Was it all a dream?Or is it meant to be. I lay in our bed before you moved out. The same bed were we used to make love on. I still remember the day so clearly. The day you said goodbye. ****I hear the door slam. I'm in the kitchen along us dinner. You were at a meeting with Management. "Harry we need to talk" he said His voice is monotones. No emotion in it. I look into his eyes and they are cold and distant. I gulp at the shiver. Something is wrong. I put down the plates and walk with him to the living room. We both sit on the couch. I'm on one cushion and he is at the end. Yea there is defiantly something wrong. I wait for him to say something. We sit in silence for 5mins until he finally says it. "I'm moving out"My heart stops beating for a split second. Then spreads up. "What?" I ask"I'm moving out" he repeats looking at me in the eye. Waiting for my reaction. "Why?" I whisper "Because Harry I have a girlfriend and we think its time I move in with her"I look at him with tears prickling my eyes. My vision gets blurry. I try to fight them off. I blink rapidly but they start to fall down my cheeks. He sighs. "Harry don't make this difficult" "Don't make it difficult. Louis why? What happened?" I ask desperately "Nothing I just thing it's time I move out. And live with elounor""But-" "But nothing. Harry you need to understand. I have a girlfriend and I love her."I stand up. "What about us?" I ask"What about us?"I look at him in disbelief. Is he really saying this to me. "What. Louis we. We are. We love each other" I tell him. I look at him. He just looks normal. Like its not breaking him at all. "Why is it such a big deal. We fucked around harry that's it. It was nothing. Nothing" he tells me. I look at him with my jaw dropped. Did he just tell me this. More tears spring from my eyes. "No" I say with a sob"Harry we are nothing. ""No please. Don't say this" I plead. I feel like my heart has just been roped from my chest and stomp on. Then put back. "Harry. Don't make this hard" "Don't make this hard! Don't make this hard! Louis listen to yourself your ling.""No I'm not. I know this is hard to understand but I'm straight""Straight. " I saw in a sarcastic tone. "Yea louis so is my hair" I tell him"What about last night. I don't thing straight guys fuck other guys. "He clenches his jaw then walks up to my face. "It. Was. Nothing. N o t h I n g. Harry" he tells me in a hard tone. I look at him. Now it feel like a recking ball hit me. And I just shattered. I just stare at him unmoving. Frozen into place. He stares at me with hard eyes. His eyes don't have a single tear. Did he even care what he said was doing to me?Before I could notice what he was doing. He took a step back and said the words I hoped I would ever hear from his lips. "Goodbye harry. I'll have one of the lads come pick up my stuff" He says before stepping out. "Please" I say below a whisper. I don't think he hears it. Even if he did all he does is keep walking. Until he gets tot he door. He opens it and doesn't look back. A sob racks through my body. I start to lean forward while my sobs became cry's of violent sobbing. I sit on the couch and cry the whole night until I fall asleep. ******Just thinking of the memory bring tears to my eyes. I turn to my side on the bed. I look out the window to the moon and stars. They shine bright in the night. I laugh at the memory. That one night long ago. Us. At the bungalow. ******We lay on the grass staring at the night sky. We finish laughing at the last joke he just said. "The stars are so bright tonight" I tell louis"Not as bright as you" he says backI laugh at the cheesy ness of the statement. "That's cheesy""We'll it's true" he says while looking into my eyes. He smiles that smile that gets my heart going 100mph. I smile back at him. His smile is dazzling with white teeth and his sparkling blue eyes. "I love you" he tells me