I Only Meant To Do This To Myself

7 - Mrs. Potato Head

7 - Mrs. Potato Head
Melanie Martinez - Mrs. Potato Head

***

I woke up to the faint sound of Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez floating out of my earphones. I found them laying on the pillow next to me and I put them back in, checking the time (along with being blinded by my phone screen) I saw that it was 04:35. I sighed and tried to go back to sleep but I couldn't.
I got out of bed and out some socks on and my ATDR jumper. Unplugging my phone from its charger, I crept downstairs in hopes that I wouldn't wake anyone up. I turned my music down a little to make sure no one could hear it. I walked into the kitchen and made some green tea and walked out to the garden.

I must have sat in the same place for hours watching the sky whilst the sun rose, because soon enough I was being questioned as to why I was sat outside by the guys.

***

"Tonyyyyyy! Miiiike! Jaimeeeee! Viiiiic!" I shouted from downstairs.
"Maaaaay!" They replied.
"Try thiiiiiiiis!" I mimicked them mimicking me. Mimick-ception. My calling was soon followed by multiple footsteps bound in down the stairs.
"Whatcha cooking?" Jaime asks, smiling at me.
"I'm trying to make some sweet chilli tofu with udon noodles." I huff.
"I need you guys to give me a stamp of approval before I serve it to you lot and Bring Me." I paused for a minute, going wide-eyed.
"What's up?" Tony says, giving me a look of confusion and concern.
"What if they don't like what I'm cooking? I didn't even bother to ask them. I don't want to serve this to them and have them not eat anything because I was too stupid to even ask what they wanted or like. Ugh why do I have to be so –"
I was cut off by Vic.
"Hey hey hey hey! It's Bring Me we are on about. They'll definitely eat this." Vic laughed.
"Plus, it's vegan!" Mike added, I smiled and then gave the four a bit of the food to taste it.
"This is amazing!" Jaime exclaimed.
"Dude, where did you learn to cook like this?" Mike and Tony ask, Vic is just making weird noises and I laugh a little.
"I used to cook all the time for Luke and Violet. They would burn the house down trying to cook anything apart from instant ramen, beans and microwave meals." I laugh again.

"Oliiiiiii, Leeeeeee, Maaaaaatt, Maaaaaatt, Jordaaaaaan!" Pierce and I scream. The rest of the guys came downstairs rubbing their bellies.
"I smell foooood!" Matt N sings, I chuckle as I pour the massive amount of noodles and tofu onto nine plates and give myself whatever was left which was a small amount if noodles, but enough so as they wouldn't say anything, and three pieces of tofu.

We all sat around the table eating and sharing laughs, once we had all finished I told everyone to go do whatever and I'd wash up. Oli ended up staying and helping me out.
"How you feeling?" He asks. I look up at him.
"I honestly don't know. One moment I'm happy and the next I'm depressed or anxious or something and then... I feel nothing." I mumble, keeping my hands busy washing dishes as a way to stop my mind from working in its dark ways.
"I know how you feel... You've got to keep holding on though. Promise me?" He turned to face me and I did the same to him.
"I promise." I say, Oli holds his pinkie out. I giggle and lock mine with his and as I'm about to pull away he tuts.
"Forgotten how we do it back at home?" He smiles, referring to Sheffield. I grin.
"Stamp it then." Oli says as he holds his thumb up, out pinkies still locked. I press my thumb against his and we unlock out fingers.

***

Coffee, smokes and cold diet cokes. That is what pretty girls are made of.

***

I was sat in the garden whilst everyone was out, playing random tunes on a guitar that Tony said I could use and attempting to write a song. So far I had nothing. The only thing I had was a sad tune flowing from the Taylor parlour guitar in my hands. The tune consisted of off sounding chords.
I pulled out the pack of Black Devil straights that I'd been saving and opening a Diet Coke, lighting the cigarette, I took a long drag. Leaning back, I blew the smoke up into the air. It was soon after I'd finished the cigarette that my brain sparked and I scrawled down the lyrics to my tune.