Hi, my name is Cecilia, and like any average 17 year old girl, I longed for a prince charming to come and sweep me up my feet and have a happy ending. Ever since I was little, fairytale stories has always been a big part of my life; it gave me hope that one day, I'll be like one of those princesses, but as I grew older, I realized that fairy tales are never going to happen to me because I'm 16 and I still haven't seen my prince charming yet (yes, this is very silly of me, I know).
Then, it all began during the summer, because I am anti-social out in the real world, I couldn't possibly find my prince charming out there. I was too afraid to show my true self to society, afraid that people will make fun of me, so I decided to forget about all this prince charming madness and just lock myself in my room all day long playing on the computer. At this moment, my favorite thing to do was to chat with people because only online will I have the courage to show my true self.
One day, I met this guy. His name is Ted and he's the sweetest guy ever. After talking to him for awhile, I knew right away that he was different; that he is the prince charming that I have been searching for. I would get online everyday and talk to him until one day he asked for my phone number. He said that it would be easier for us to communicate that way. I was so happy because that is a sign that he really likes talking to me. I quickly gave him my phone number. Everyday we would text each other. We even stayed up all night talking to each other.
Then the happiest day of my life happened. It was late at night and Ted texted me, saying that I should get online because he has something that he wants to tell me. I got online quickly and he asked me the question that I have been waiting for. When I got online, he messaged me and said "I like you Cecilia, I really like you." Those words; those sweet words almost made my heart jump out of my chest. Oh boy, I was filled with joy. This is marks the beginning of our relationship.
I still continue to talk with Ted everyday. We would now webcam with each other a lot, watch movies together, and every single monthly anniversary, he would send me a love letter or a gift. Every single day, he would tell me "I love you very much," never once did he forget to say those words. Then one day, I asked him what if one day we will go our separate ways? He said "My love for you is forever. Cecilia please don't say such a thing, it worries me. We WILL be together forever, I promise you, and remember, I have never broken a promise with you." Which is true, he has always kept his promises, so I believed him.
After the first 2 months of our relationship, obstacles started to come along, we would fight very often and over stupid things. Every time I get mad at him, he would come back and beg for forgiveness. These obstacles kept coming, day after day, month after month, but our relationship was still going strong. Now it has been 8 months, and this is where our first break up happened. We couldn't stand all the fighting; we couldn't even go 3 days without fighting. I was really sad when we broke up and it only lasted one day before we got back together again.
9 months now has past, the fighting hasn't stop, Ted seems to be changing. Back then, he would never make me sad or let go of me. Our conversations are now shorter, we don't know what to talk about or what to do when we are together, but we still love each other so we kept going on with our relationship. The day before our 10 months anniversary, I decided to call Ted and told him that we should leave the past behind and go back to the way it was, we won't fight with each other anymore. Ted said that he wanted to break up, I asked him why and he didn't answer. He hung up on me and ignored me. I was desperate to find out why, I really loved him and didn't wanted to let him go.
I sat there that night, crying my eyes out because I had prepared a cake and I planned to sing him a song that I had wrote for him. All these thoughts were running through my mind, like did I do something wrong? Is he okay? Why isn't he texting me? Is there someone else? I wasn't gonna give up until I get an answer. I kept texting him and I finally got an answer. He called me and told me things that I didn't want to hear. He said that he was only just playing with me, he couldn't have loved someone who's ugly and fat like me. He said that he has been dating someone else for the past few months and now he wants to break up. At that moment I dropped the phone. I couldn't believe what I have just heard.
I locked myself in my room for 3 days, then I finally picked up the phone to call him again to say thank you for all the good times that he have gave me. The phone rang 4 times and then someone picked up, but it wasn't his voice. It was a woman's voice. Immediately I thought that it must be his new girlfriend that he was talking, but I found out that it wasn't; it was his mother. His mother said that he had passed away. I laughed and said, "Mam, please don't joke with me." Then I heard her cry, she wasn't joking. I said thank you and sorry to her and hung up.
I sat there, still as a log, didn't know what to do. Tears were overflowing out of my eyes. I felt so bad; I was ashamed of myself. Ted broke up with me because he didn't want to hurt me even more, yet I misunderstood him. I continued to lock myself in my room and blamed myself for everything that had happened. I even tried to kill myself and got sent into the emergency room because I couldn't live without him nor the guilt. I decided to fly over to where he is because I felt like it was partially my fault.
When I got there, his mother seemed quite happy. I thought to myself, if your son died, why would you be so happy? I stood outside of his house, didn't have the courage to go in until night came. I heard people walking and to my surprise, there I saw him, walking with his new girlfriend. I couldn't believe my eyes. How could he do such a thing? Making up a story like he had died just to get rid of me.
I stood there for awhile and he saw me, he was shocked. I walked up to him and slapped him. I said "How could you to this to me? Does it make you feel happy seeing me suffer? If you don't want to be with me anymore, you could've said so, instead of doing such things. Do you know how much I have suffered because I blamed myself for this?" He said, "No, I don't know. What you chose to do is your problem, not mine. I already said lets break up, get the hint. It's your stupidity for doing such things. You are so naive Cecilia. It's true that I've loved you, but not anymore, so please stop bothering me and let me live in peace. Let this be a lesson to you." I stood there, my eyes getting watery, not knowing what else to say. Ted and his new girlfriend walked away. The moment the first tear ran down my cheeks, all I could do was turn around and whispered "but you said forever..." I kept repeating that line until I just completely broke down.
After I have returned back from his place, I no longer have faith in love. Fairy tales are just trash to me and I have lived until now, never giving love another chance.
