Bad Habits

Chapter 1

I imagined this feeling was exactly how it felt when you're dying, and I remember that it hurt, the abstract pain in my mental state, physically hurt. Anguish. That's how it felt. It was pure anguish. I remember waking up on the floor, waking up to my mom screaming at the top of her lungs, trying to get a response out of my cold blue body.

"Daisy! What's wrong? Honey get up! Daisy! Daisy! Kate call 911!" she screamed. I couldn't move, I couldn't talk and I could barely breathe. All I could see were the blurry green eyes and brown hair of my mother crouched down over me. Then I remember hearing a loud voice. It was deep and unrecognizable. I fell asleep and the next thing I remembered was waking up to white walls and tiled floor. The air was cold and the bed I was lying on felt as if the sheets were made of paper. I turned my head from the ceiling and saw that there was a long iron pole holding up a bag filled with liquid in it beside me. From the bag ran a long narrow tube that was connected to my arm transferring the liquid from the bag into my veins. My skin looked paler than usual and the few strands of my auburn hair that rested on my shoulders looked darker under the dreary lights. I looked at the foot of the bed and the writing on its iron bars caught my attention. It said Lennard Wilks Medical Center - Accident & Emergency. Then I mumbled thinking that there was no one there to hear me, "I'm in the hospital."

My mom quickly stood up when she realized I was awake. Her eyes were red like she was sleep deprived and blue like she had a deep sadness in her heart. She held on to my hand like she was clinging on to me for dear life.

"Your hand is still cold," She said.

"What happened? Why am I here." I asked.

"You don't remember?" She said looking at me with more concern than sadness in her eyes. Then I shook my head.

"Sweetie you had a panic attack when you woke up this morning. You passed out and when I came into your room to check if you were awake I found you on the floor half conscious. I tried talking to you. I kept asking you what was wrong but you weren't even breathing much less talking. I had Kate call the paramedics. They came into the house and carried you out of your room to the ambulance and brought you to the ER." She stared at me for a while trying to see if there was any hint of me remembering what she was talking about, and when she saw that there was none the blue in her eyes came back.

"Don't cry mom. I'll be okay." I traced my thumb across her palm trying to comfort her as best as I could seeing as the state I was in wasn't the best and I was cooped up on a hospital bed that was probably previously occupied by someone who had a seriously contagious illness. If I weren't so concerned about my mother's feelings I would be asking her to give me the travel sized hand sanitizer that she kept in her handbag, but she was right in front of me and she was sad.

"How about after I get out of this dump we have a girls night in, and watch all the sad chick flicks your little heart desire? I know Kate has been waiting for me to pick a day since the last one we had when we were crying our eyes out while watching The Vow." She smiled, squeezed my hand and nodded her head.

"Speak of the de-" I started and quick enough my brown eyed auburn haired older sister came prancing around the corner.

"Delightful to see you too, Monkey" Kate said with relief on her face. I chuckled at her smooth wordplay for a moment. Then I turned my head away from her and began staring out of the window on the opposite side of the bed.

I've always hated hospitals. I don't know what is it about them but they just make me cringe and want to take ten showers as soon as I leave the place. That still doesn't change the fact that I'm admitted into to one almost every month because sometimes I forget to eat and apparently that's not healthy and my body can't cope without food every day. Hey, it really isn't my fault that sometimes my life throws me curve balls that make eating the last thing on my mind. It's not like I'd consider myself as anorexic. I don't have an eating disorder. I just genuinely forget sometimes and that lands me in the hell holes considered as medical centers Bloomstone Valley, Arizona, has to offer.