Joy ride

Chapter 39

1 month later

|Myla|

"How are you this morning ?" My therapist Veronica said smiling at me as I walked inside her office.

"Pretty good, I'm just happy I don't look how I feel." I said plopping down on the sofa in her office.

"Aren't we all. So let's get this session on a roll, when you went home yesterday did you do what you said you were gonna do?" She asked

I bit my lip and looked down.

"Myla you have to make sure you are not pregnant I know this must be very tough and scary for you but you can't wait until the last minute." She said readjusting her glasses and jotting things down on her note pad

"I just thought I needed an extra day just to really get my mind right. Would if I really am pregnant? Would if my baby dies again? Would if I don't make a good parent? Would if August doesn't-" she cut me off.

"Stop letting all the negative thoughts flood your brain Myla. It might be hard but look on the bright side , God just might've blessed you with another gift ! Look at this as something good! Your issues aren't really your issues , the battles each and every one of us stress over are gods battles. No where in the bible does it say worry or stress yourself out. Now just take a couple deep breaths and let's talk everything over again." She said calmly .

I nodded my head and breathed in and out slowly with my eyes closed. Since I've been in Newtown hills it's been constantly me eating throwing up, gaining weight, visiting my therapist and then goin back to my temporary home. My family has definitely been worried about me since I just up and left I haven't quite told them where I am or when I'm coming back but who knows the way I'm feeling I might just come back today.

"So when you go back to your family you're gonna have to face August. I need you to stop running from all of your problems that only makes things worse. If you are fully done with August and you are serious then I think it's best for you to get closure, BUT if you're not done with him tell him what you're feeling inside that's a first step. Another thing , stop avoiding your family when they are trying to reach out to you ..I think you owe them a big explanation when you go back. When you leave here today I need you to take a pregnancy test and WHEN you do you must call August right away and let him know it's only fair!" She stated

"But what if I'm not pregnant?" I questioned

"Simple then don't call him." She shrugged.

We talked more for about 35 minutes and I got up grabbing my things to go.

"Let me know the resultssss" she said to me smiling. I nodded and waved bye to her before walking out.

When I got back to my place I say my purse on the counter and went straight upstairs into the small bathroom in the hallway. I opened up the medicine cabinet and pulled out the box of pregnancy tests.

I stood looking down at the box in my hands nervously. I opened it up , read the directions and did what I had to do. The box said the stick would beep in five minutes with my results. I sat down on the toilet staring down at my feet. I felt a million butterflies in my stomach and it was making me so anxious to know. If I'm pregnant by August that would really make me happy , because he's the only person I want to have children with.

"Beep beep"

I jumped up extremely quick when i heard the stick beep. I slowly walked over to it and picked it up. 1 line means I'm not pregnant 2 lines mean I am. I scanned my eyes across the small image on the stick showing 2 lines. I dropped the stick on the floor and began to cry.

I'm honestly scared, I cannot lose another baby if I lose another baby I swear I'm gonna lose myself ..I pray God does his magic with this. I wiped away my tears and walked out of the bathroom going into my bedroom and balling up on my bed. I sat staring into the space not knowing what to say or do next.

Damn... I'm pregnant

Again