I slam the door and collapse onto my bed, tears water-falling down my face. My body shakes as I sob uncontrollably into my pillow. The breakup was hard enough, but why did he have to go and be a jerk about it? I think to myself, once the crying had subsided a bit.
It had been two weeks, 3 days and 8 hours since Jace had pulled me aside outside of class to tell me that we just weren't going to work out. He had said that it wasn't me, it was him, that he felt like I deserved better.
"Oh..." I had said, awkwardly dropping my gaze to the ground, "I-I guess... If that's what you feel is best..." I still remember how hard it was to hold back the tears that had been threatening to fall, and the feeling of a void in my chest beginning to consume all the happiness I had felt that past year.
I had the urge to ask, "We can still be friends right?"
All he did was shrug and say, "Sure. Yeah, I mean, whatever," as he avoided looking at my pain-filled gaze.
What an idiot I was. I knew there was no chance of us ever being friends. Not after how close we had become. I honestly had begin to hope that he was who I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
But no. Out of the blue he dumps me. And the worst part is, he left me for someone else.
It has been three days since the breakup. Three full torturous days of sweatpants, hoodies, and ear buds. Three days of avoiding all the routes Jace usually walked throughout his day. Three days of crying myself to sleep at night and wondering what I did for him to throw away all that we had.
The fourth day started out the same. I arrived a few minutes late so I didn't have to sit through morning before-class socializing. I made my way to my seat in the back of the class, cranked up the volume of my music, and stared blankly at the whiteboard. This repeated in every class just like it had the last few days. After fourth period, the lunch bell rang. I decided to take the back way to the library, where I would spend my lunch break, so I wouldn't bump into Jace. He always took the staircase by the main entrance of the school to head towards the cafeteria during lunch. I had naturally memorized his classes and the pathways he took to get there.
I picked up and shouldered my backpack, and begun walking down the math hallway towards the back staircase. My music blasting in my ears, my eyes watching my feet as I walked, I finally reached the door to the staircase and shoved it open with my shoulder.
My arms suddenly went weak. My bag fell to the floor and the binder I was holding in my other hand fell with a clatter. Jace broke away from the girl he had been pressing against the wall, whose throat he had been shoving his tongue down, when he heard the noise. He looked up, his face turning red with embarrassment as he realized who had just walked in.
"J-Jace?" All the blood drained from my face. I stood there frozen, my brain still trying to accept what was really happening.
"Alice-!" He exclaimed, the tone of his voice awkward as hell, "I-I can explain!!" He paused and glanced back at the girl that was still standing there, leaning against the wall. He looked back at me with shame filled eyes.
I turn around and run out the door, leaving my stuff unmoving where it had dropped as a tsunami of tears crashes down on me.
"Alice! Wait!"
I jog down the hallway and dart into the girls bathroom, shutting myself in one of the stalls and letting the tears flow freely.
I hear people come in and out, but no one bothers to stop and ask whats wrong. Really, its better that way. Less people I have to embarrass myself in front of.
What just happened? My brain began trying to analyze the situation. Is this why he broke up with me? How long has this been going on for? Did he ever even love me? Was our whole relationship just a lie? How much of it was real?
Questions clouded my mind as I rocked back and forth on my heels, my face buried between my knees which I had brought up to my chest. I sobbed quietly as to not draw attention.
I don't know how much time passed while I had sat there crying wishing things were okay, wishing for the pain in my chest to disappear. My heart wouldn't slow down, and it felt as if with each heartbeat, the pain intensified. I pretty much spent the rest of that day in the bathroom.
The next day after that, I couldn't get myself out of bed. Both my parents worked, so I was left alone all day, lucky for me. The only time I got up at all that day was to grab my laptop and a bottle of Jack Daniel's from my dad's stocked liquor stash.
I continued like this for maybe a week, before my friend Aria came over to stage an intervention.
"Get out of those sweats and into some normal clothes for gods sake!" Ari charged into my room and threw open my blinds, blinding me for a split second before my pupils adjusted.
"Ughhh...." I groaned and rolled over, pulling my pillow over my head to block out the light.
"That is not an option." Aria pulled my pillow and comforter off of my bed and out of reach.
"No fair!" I exclaim, rubbing my eyes, "I was comfortable!"
"Babe, you can be comfortable in some flip-flop wedges and mom jeans too, now get your ass out of bed!!" She threw a bundle of clothes at me and started going through my makeup box, obviously intent on giving me a make-Jace-regret-dumping-you make over.
"No," I said, as I tried to slip back into my glorious haven of music, by putting my earbuds in, but Aria snatched them before I could.
"Don't you 'no' me, young lady," She said, in her mom voice that she always used when trying to take control of situations, which was actually sort of cute, considering she was only 5'3", "Those sweats have practically grafted into your skin, you've been wearing them so long. We are going to get you up and back at school so we can show Jace that you don't need him, and you're better off without him."
I sighed and gave in, knowing she wouldn't shut up until I did what she said. I sat up and unzipped my hoodie, revealing a small black tank top, which I pulled off before sliding on a cut off sweater. I stood up and changed into the jeans Aria had picked out, shoving my phone into my back pocket before following her out to her car.
After that, I just took Ari's advice and acted like everything was normal.
Until today.
