First of all, I want to say I made it. Because Ive never seen myself turning 18 back when I was a kid. I guess I survived so many challenges that made me became more stronger. So many lessons to bring as my journey went by. And Im here almost a few months left Im gonna be "dalaga"
Excuse to the people that who are not aware of this. But right before 18, Ive became a worst person. I hurt people. Ive became selfish. And now, before 18, I want to give my apologies to the people that who are there for me.
To my family:
Parents, Im sorry if I always hurt you. Im sorry if Im making you worried if Im coming home late on my curfew. Sorry if I lost your trust in me. Sorry if I dont mind you two when Im busy. But always remember that I always, ALWAYS know my priorities. Im always doingy best to make you proud of me. And soon, I will going to help our family when I got a good job. Thats because of you too. You serve as my inspiration why I need to be motivated. Sorry if I let you guys down. But I wont let my dreams down for the both of you.
To my ate, Im sorry if I hurt you when I permanently moved here. I grew up half my life being with you for just a month. So its a huge difference when I got here and being with you. Sorry if I always abide your rules. But to be honest, I always kept that in my mind. Because I want to prove you that you can trust me. And I always give importance to my studies for me to help you also for our family. I know that you still didnt trust me. So thats why I keep striving hard just to get your trust. And I promise that your story wont going to happen in my world. Because I love studying. And I wont let you down no matter what.
To my brother/s, we been together since my eyes open. You always iiritate me before 18 years of my existence. And I want to apologize if Im shouting at you. Sometimes I want you to point out my rights to you but you wont gonna listen. Im sorry if I got mad at you most of the time. Well thats your job right? But I promise you, Im always gonna be your little sister.
Friends:
There are few of you that I want to apologize to. But this is for all. Im sorry if I became so bossy. Sometimes I want to be right. Sorry that I hurt you all and using those hurtful term that made you all got mad. I know some of you lost trust in me. And few left me already. I became a huge jerk thats why you all hate me. I became selfish enough to care. So Im here to apologize. Sorry for those guys who were there for me through without me seeing it. I really appreciate your effort.
There are some few things I want to share to you. Before 18, I became a worst person I had 3 ex boyfriend that is not commited both sides and my family didnt even know that. Before 18 I want to set things right, as a lady standing before you. But those relationships was not a huge thing to me at all. I was just playing with it. I faked my attitude. And I saw them got really entertained. Except for one person. That I really admired. The person who opened my eyes into reality. Person who is different to other. Person who truly respects me as a woman. But I dont gave him that. So I want to apologize for the things that made you turned off.
There is this one person I really want to apologize. I know he might not gonna read this.
June 19,2015, that was my mama jeline's bday. She told me that someone wants to greet her but the person is shy enough. I asked her who. She point the person who is standing at the door of his classroom. I cant barely see him. So I pulled jeline near the door and I pulled him. And while pulling his arm I saw his cute face. I ask her who is he. Then she gave me lots of info. Since that day happen, I always eavesdropping at him during dismissal. Months passed by I always did that routine. And its our field trip. Sadly our section got segregated due to limited bus. And they said that we will going to go with section "thomas more". So I am surpised as usual because that's his section. Few moments when we're already there, I went to the pool and dive. I swam and I suddenly stepped at him. I knew that one of his friends is my classmate. So I asked for his number. And I text him when I got home. Few days later one of his friends knew my secret. Of course when someone knew your secret is a total disaster right? Then he told me that he liked me too. I cant explain the feeling inside me. I dont know if Im gonna believe him or not. But december 10,2015 at exactly 6:00 I confirmed and we're officially mutual. But I faked my identity to him. I hurt him instead of taking care of him. I abide his rules instead of following it. I became malicious that I thought he Will loved it. I waste those precious days without showing my true colors to him. I always thinking deep if what if he knew that Im not like that. Was it going to be a huge turn off? What if I told him that I am faithful to God? Was it not cool for a girl? What if told him Im a gamer fan? Was that not girly at all?
Few months later, March 28,2016. He ended our relationship. I was supposed to tell him the truth. But it was over. Few months flies, I always went to the places that we've been through. Moa, Ccp, Austinland at SM, Shakeys, Austinland and my house where he usually went if I want him to come over. I already told him the truth, but I know he just laughed at it. If I had a chance. To show you my real identity, Im really going to take that opportunity. For all the relationships Ive been through that I also faked, yours gives me a huge guilt in my life. You opened my eyes. You serve as my inspiration. Without you I am so empty, no energy, and I have no reason why I need to go to school. I admit that I am the bad guy here, you're just helping me to be responsible whenever Im not being one to my family and to my friends. The moment you ended our relationship, It was a huge task for me to be independent because I got used to be with you whenever I went to. And I appreciate that.
This time. I want to make this real. I want to be your waifu again.
