Splitting Hairs

Fourteen

“Ito ang listahan ng mga kasalanan at kabutihan mo…”

Was he serious?

“Sa… sa langit na ba ako? I mean, sa langit ba ako pupunta?” Para kasing hindi naman 'to heaven eh.

“Right minus wrong.”

“Anong ibig niyong sabihin?”

“Anak… katawan lang ang iniiwan sa lupa hindi ang common sense.” My eyes opened wide. Little did I know that St. Peter was also a philosopher.

Meaning… good minus bad? “What the fu—ck.” Paano kung mas marami ang kasalanan ko? Eh 'di may utang pa 'ko? I groaned. Pinilit ko namang maging mabait. Were you telling me that I shouldn’t have followed those novels I so much liked? Sabi kasi nila… magpakatotoo. Hanapin mo ang sarili mo blah, blah, blah. 'Yun naman ang ginawa ko.

“Plus one.”

My eyes were open wide. I stared incredulously at the shining bald head of St. Peter. Pati ba ang pagmumura counted na din?

“You can now take her.”

It was getting hot. No! Ibababa nila 'ko sa impyerno. Magiging demonyo nga ako? Dahil virgin pa 'ko. Ayaw nila akong papasukin sa heaven! Kasama si Julian. Argh. If only I had known, I should have seduced him sooner. Sana isinama na rin nila 'yung driver na nag-overspeeding.

“Jeannie… Jeannie…”

Did they know my name? Argh.

“Jeannie… Jeannie…”

I slowly opened my eyes. There I saw my mom. Disoriented pa 'ko. Pero… pero nakikita ko na si mommy! I was panting so hard. No ribs broken. Sure ako dun. Wala akong maramdamang sakit. May ininject bang pampamanhid?

“She’s out of danger. Actually, she’s not even in the brink of danger. Only a small wound on her forehead.” Ngumiti ang doctor sa mommy ko. She was crying. Then I saw my dad. God, how I missed my family. Naiiyak na niyakap ako ng daddy ko.

“Guilty ako.” Bulong niya.

“I love you daddy, mommy.” I whispered brokenly. Minsan, maiisip mong kailan mo din palang i-express ang nararamdaman mo sa kanila. What if it was too late? He smiled at me and patted my head like the way he used to. My mommy was crying silently. Where’s Julian?

The door burst open. Speaking of the devil. My parents excused themselves.

“Are you okay?” Natatarantang hinawakan niya ang buhok ko, ang mukha ko, ang katawan ko. He was skimming every part of me. Na para bang alam niya gagawin kung may sugat nga ako! Hindi naman siya ang doctor. At saka niya lang siguro napansin na nandun nga ang doctor.

“Is she alright? My God.”

He was worried! I smiled eagerly as the doctor gave his prognosis.

“She’s okay except for—”

“How about the baby?” He cut him off frantically.

My smile froze in place. My jaw became slacked. The doctor frowned.

“Excuse me… Mr. Sunico there’s no—”

Oh my saving grace. Napakapit ako bigla sa puson ko. Sorry San Pedro, ibalato niyo na po sa 'kin 'to. Saka na tayo magbilangan, mmkay? Anyway, blame my sister for giving me this idea. “Awww…” Pareho silang napatingin sa 'kin. The doctor frowned even more.

“Doc, damn! I thought she’s okay. What the fu—ck’s happening to my wife?” Sumisigaw na sabi ni Julian. Parang nataranta ang doctor sa galit nito. I winced. Parang na-guilty naman ako. Tsk.