Splitting Hairs

Seventeen

I was pacing to and fro. Pati ako nga rin nahihilo na sa sarili ko. If it was any consolation on every one's part Julian let Jean go. But not me. How could he tell that me and Jean apart? Namamangha ako.

Because he could! Ganon ba talaga ang nagagawa ng sex?

I was starting to hate him. Bakit ba hindi eh, ako... ako ang ikinulong niya at gusto niyang mag-suffer. Was I that bad to blame my sister?

Pero nasa katwiran naman ako. Kahit magkita pa kami sa husgado!

It was my only insane reason to stay sane. I took my sketch pad and sat on the floor, leaning against the bed. I brushed my tears angrily. Wala na lang siyang ginawang mabuti kung hindi paiyakin at saktan ako. Hindi na siya naawa sa kagandahan ko. I bit my lower lip until it bled.

I drew Julian's face. His handsome face and his body. I busied myself for how many seconds—minutes...

I pouted and made face. Mali... mali. I erased half part. Then I drew his body again.

Without clothes on. I smiled nastily.

"Parang may kulang." I raised one brow. Tapos nagdrawing ako ng dalawang sungay. Mahabang buntot. At ang hawak niya... isang malaking tinidor. Oh, 'di ba? He looked like a bench model on Halloween. Then I did sketch myself. Of course, I was the angel with a halo sent from up above.

Na aalilain ng demonyo.

"Ganon ba talaga ang mga bida? Laging api?" Bulong ko sa sarili ko. I wrinkled my nose and closed my eyes. Tapos biglang bumukas 'yung pinto. Pabalabag. I glared at him standing like he owned the world. Hell, given the fact that he owned me.

"Tumayo ka dyan."

Inirapan ko siya. He was totally acting the kontrabida part. Hinila niya 'ko pataas. I cringed in pain. Not in pain, pain. Pero medyo nakakabigla. "Ano ba!" Pilit kong tinatanggal ang kamay niya sa braso ko.

"Sign this."

Pabalewalang may ibinagsak siya sa kama. Makapal iyon. Puro papeles. I wanted to kill him right this minute. Kung legal lang ang krimen sa mundo baka ilang beses na itong namatay. O kaya pahihirapan ko muna ng unti-unti. My eyes squinted in anger.

"What's this?"

"Nakakapagbasa ka naman 'di, ba..."

My mouth dropped open. He was a cad. A chauvinist. Ang pinakababoy sa lahat ng baboy. I took the papers and read it. This was legal and notarized. Kahit naman fine arts ang kinuha ko alam ko naman kung anong ibig sabihin ng kontrata.

Shit. Did he thought I was a real bummer?

Hindi ba at siya nga ang naloko ko? So, he was the one who's stupid.

"Ano 'to?"

"Printed papers, perhaps." His voice was laced with sarcasm. He planted his hands on his hips. Tinitigan akong maigi.

"What's this for?"

"You have two options to make: One, pay me the five million pesos. Really, ang interes ay umabot ng half a million. And because I wasn't that bad, hey," ngumiti ito at lumapit sa 'kin. I realized I was really a good painter after all. Because I had drawn this pig's face exactly the way he was evilly smiling at me!

Nagpapatawa ba siya? Kaya nga siya pinikot ng kakambal ko dahil wala kaming pambayad 'di ba? Anong gusto niyang gawin ko? Malay ko bang papalpak pala ang plano ni Jean. Sana man lang nakapaglagay ako sa account ko mula sa kaban ni Julian bago nagkabukingan. Tsk. God, why didn't you even give me a sign? Or even a hint?