Angel

Morning

CARMEN! WERE FUCKING LATE! GET UP GET UP GET UP! I slowly rose myself from my bed, creaking my eyes open, unpolite filtered light raced to great me. Along with my moms voice I'd say it was an awful wake up call. I miss the days when I could wake up and hear my moms sweet timid voice stir me from my daydreams of nick Jonas kissing me, but those days have long since halted. I groaned "MOM ITS SUNDAY MORNING IM NOT GOING TO CHURCH!" I hid under a pillow as the click clack of angry heels paced to my door. No no no no no. The door flew open and she tore off my blankets "CARMEN!" I kept my head down and worked up a few tears "m-mom I j-just don't think I can do it mom I miss dad." Her angry twisted face went soft and her small frame plopped down on my bed. "Carmen I know I miss him to." She looked down at her skirt and played with the fabric, I knew she missed him and I knew she knew I didn't deep down she had to. After a long awkward silence I finally broke her thoughts "mom I think I would heal better....at home." She gave me a broken smile and kissed my head ok sweetie. She began to walk out when I called for her and she stopped "Love you muffin" I said. At this point I know she knew I conned her.
She just smiled and sniffed I knew she was crying from behind and guilt filled me. Church wouldn't make it go anywhere though. I pulled out my phone and called lucas. "Babe I had to call you like 3 times stop playing with your dick!" He laughed the sexy groggy voice broke through the phone he just woke up "I'm, pretty talented carmen, I mean I got the most gorgeous girl to fall for me and I got- MY WEED WHAT THE HELL!!" I died in laughter " I'm not too sure if marijuana will make you Einstein anytime soon, Lucas." I heard him groan and pick something up "I know, I know I still have you and apparently I can masturbait in my sleep so I'd say I'm pretty clever." I smirked must he always argue and give me butterflies all at once? "Well, you won't have me for long if you don't come over I'm lonely!" "Well if princess carmen commands it than it shall be!" The groggness of his voice left and his normal deep voice sang to me through the phone. Finally after having a long debate on whether we would live in an apartment or condo together we said our goodbyes and I pushed myself out of the bed for a shower. After zombie walking to the bathroom I began to fling my clothes off then stare at my naked body. Habit. Bad. Bad. Habit. My hand traced over were I use to cut my sides no one could see there. I scoffed who would see, when I was fat anyways. When dad would only come home every blue moon and remind me. I ran my hands down my thin thighs smooth delicate skin use to be rugged with jagged hate. Never again will I look at this naked body with such shame and hate. Never. I glanced up at my face and began to study my features. Pale fair skin, silhouetted with the Rippling dark raven hair that tickled my butt and brought out rosy red cheeks and prominate emarld eyes. This face won't hold me back either. I took one more look at my lean pale body and then hopped in the shower and let the steam melt all the old wounds away.