Lost

Thank you

Dear diary,

Three hours later I went to bed and closed my eyes. My mind still remembered the songs and I tried to forget them by playing heaps of other songs. But there was honestly nothing which helped me to get rid of all those catchy tunes.

And as if it couldn't be worse, my phone started to vibrate. I looked up, grabbed it with my left arm and unlocked it. There was an unknown number on my display and my very first thought was something like: who the heck is bored and now needs to make fun of me by texting shit?

I didn't wanna respond but my curiosity (oh yes I hate it more than you can imagine) was far too big.

You know, people who are like...idk...'normal' text things like 'hello' or anything else but I have never ever received a message from someone I haven't talked to before which said 'thank you'.

So yeah your first message included a simple 'thank you' and the moment I read this text I honestly knew who was talking to me. I knew that it had to be you.

I am usually not the type of person who helps everyone and if I do people don't recognize. And I was pretty sure I didn't help anyone that day and I still think you weren't supposed to thank me because if I wouldn't have responded that evening and ever after...well...things might be good now.

I probably would have never bought that freaking diary. I would have never cried myself to sleep for such a long period of time. I would have never ever thought of making a cut under the whole idea of me and living a life cause as we all know – I am not made for all this happiness shit anymore.

I always looked for a reason, talking about my failure. I thought I found it by using those 7 letters. I know that I am being so mean right now and I am honestly trying to be a bit less mistaken (oh Sunrise Avenue, are you there?) but you know, life is a mess and I am not the person who can make order out of cable spaghetti.