She Didn't Respond

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Im in my room contemplating....pacing back and forth..I question what life will be like without her..i can't. All i see is black...
I grabbed it and put it in my hand.. I sit down on my bed and i write a letter to my mom it reads.."Thank you are the fuckin usless pain you gave me..maybe just maybe if you weren't so annoying and let me stay with my father i could of kept her...but no you had to go all irational  and forget about how feel about all this.. so heres my thank you" I put the letter in my left hand and my path to  happienss in the right..Its so cold my hands are fringing up just from holding it. I send her a long message explaining how happy she made me feel for the past year and two months and how that i always knew itd be her whod leave. Im a handful i know it. I send the message on multiple accounts she has. I KNOW she'll get it..I put it in towards my stomach and shed a few tears..She always complained about being fat even though she was really slim...I couldnt do it..I put the gun to my chest and cried a little more...she ..she alw-always complained about being flat ch-chested..even thouh she was bigger than most girls. I try again but i just couldnt do it..so then i put it too my head and i now start to get a headache , i can see all of the memories we had..staying on skype for 5 hours...when i snuck to the school to see her...and when we slept on Skype....I couldnt fucking do it...so i drop the gun and layed in my bed for yhe next 3 weeks starved and depressed..i didnt carr about eating or school. ..i was just gonna wait...until she came to me...its been 2 weeks my vision is starting to fade and i can feel my body loosing energy by the second...my heartbeat slows..i say my final goodbyes to everyone and wish them a happy life with the last of my energy..i also tell them never let it come to what i had to go through...i fadding in and out and my vision gets blurry..But then i see a message pop up..it was her...i clicked it..all i could read was "I'm sorry i.....you so much......stupid i should of never....."i closed my eyes and slowly let my heartbeat go out..i smiled and i could feel my body giving up...i lie there thinking about what i could of done if i was strong....and soon..my body gave up and so did I. ....

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