Chapter 1

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Emilio sat on his bed.
He pissed himself and laughed because it felt funny and tickled his thighs.
"I wish I had friends." Emilio sighed.
"Perhaps I can help!" said the genie that materialized in front of him.
"OH CHRIST!" Emilio yelled.
"Wish granted." Suddenly, Emilio felt popular. He also suddenly knew every word to "Popular" from the Wicked soundtrack.
"What is your second wish?" The genie asked.
"I... I wish to set you free."
The genie's eyes filled with tears of joy he floated up and out of the window.
"I'll never forget you, Emilio."
The sky turned orange, as if a swarm of Orange Lanterns had swarmed the suburbs.

"And for my final wish, I want a biiiiiiiig wang."

Nothing happened.

"Like, this big." He held his hands about a foot apart.

Nothing happened.

"Okay, maybe this big." He held his hands six inches farther apart.

Nothing happened.

Emilio pulled the front of his waistband forward and looked down.

"Still waitin on that wang, genie."

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 15, 2016 ⏰

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