Goodbye Caleb

Spencer

I walk up the little stairs on the side of the stage. "Hanna, what are you doing?!" I hear Emily say from behind me. Two people, Emily and Toby, roughly pull me off the stairs as I start crying angrily. Spencer looks at me with concern in her eyes.
I see her exchanging a look with Emily. Emily whispers something in Toby's ear and Toby brings me outside. This all happening in a blur of tears for me. Once we're outside Toby cups my crying face and looks me straight in my eyes. "It's okay" he says as he closes me in his arms. This was what I needed. I hear Spencer talking inside. She's just introducing herself now, but I don't want to hear a word of her speeche.
The doors opens behind us and Ezra walks out.
"Hey guys" he says.
"Hi man" toby says. Still holding me in his strong arms.
"I'll take it over from here" he says to Toby before he looks at me for approval.
I nod.
Toby rubs my back.
"I'll see you later, it's going to be okay." He reassured me.
I just nodded. He walks back inside and me and Ezra are alone outside.
"Are you okay?" He asks me.
"Yeah it's fine." I say as I look down at my feet. Kicking some pebbles.
"Can I talk to you?" He asks after a short silence.
I finally look up to meet his eyes.
"Eh sure." I say.
His worried eyes scare me.
"So I'll just get right to the point.." He takes a second to go on. "I eh.. I saw you guys. You and Caleb. The day he got..eh..you know, shot."
I feel my cheeks turning red.
"I..don't know what to say." I say after a while.
"Don't say anything then. You don't owe me an explanation." He says.
I bite my lip.
"I should go inside." I say.
I avoid his eyes and open the doors to let myself in.
Ezra followes me. Before he sits down I grab his arm to pull his ear closer to me.
"Let's just forget about it, okay? I don't want people to get hurt." I whisper.
I let go of his arm and walk away before he can say anything.
I sit down as I realise Spencer is still the one talking.
"I have always thought Caleb was a great guy. I always felt like he was too perfect and I was waiting, maybe even looking for some kind of imperfection. And even though I got to know him a lot better in the last few months, I never found that one imperfection. Never! Isn't that amazing!?." She tells everyone, smiling brightly.
I feel like punching her. I feel like punching my best friend.
Things like 'friends before boyfriends' run trough my mind, trying to calm me down, but the anger I feel is too big.
I look at her, not even a tiny bit of sadness on her face. She has always been good at hiding her feelings. I wish she had just hid her feelings for Caleb too. She keeps talking but I can't hear a word she says until Aria rubs my arm, which brings me back to the place where I am physically instead of mentally.
I figured she was naming all his perfections as I heard what she was saying.
"He was a great cook" she says.
Dong Po, I grin.
"He was good at hacking computers and keeping computers save. Which really helped me and the girls." She says.
Definitely. He learned me that a password with numbers is good, like 1105. I smirk at my own thoughts. I can tell you what Caleb is good in, Spencer. I think. He's good at camping, he's good at taking showers, he's good at punching douchebags, he's good at surprising me at parties, he's good at surprising me at home with some good sex, he's good at being totally hot to all the girls but still making me feel like I will always be the only one, he's good at standing up for himself, he's good at looking out for me, he's good at making me feel completely weak every time he comes into a room. That's what he's good at Spencer. My thoughts drifting away from Spencer's speeche again. I feel tears burning in my eyes. I try to hold them back as hard as I can. I don't want Spencer to think that her speeche does anything to me. And it doesn't. My own memories of Caleb do. I love Spencer but i'm so mad at her. Caleb could've still been alive if he was with me. Imagine Caleb and I having babies and marrying. Little me and Caleb's. I never stopped loving him. That's clear. But it's too late now.