Crushed

Chapter 18

Surprise, surprise, it was Sean. I honestly don't feel that bad for him, he had it coming. I was acting slightly different, just because, you know, stress, and he commented on it. He said, "hey, Bella, how's it going?" in that sarcastic tone of his, so I just rolled my eyes at him. He then said, "ouch, someone's feisty..." just by that comment, I was enraged. He had the nerve to waltz into my life, and comment on everything I do. I was not going to take this. I responded with, "oh, in sorry, last time I checked I had the right to move my own eyeballs without breaking a law. But if I'm doing something wrong tell me, because I wouldn't want to offend you by looking around the room." He just stood there, shocked, and said a little, "I-I-I'm s-s-sor-ry..." I couldn't handle this any more, so I just said, "not your life..." as I walked away. He just stood there stunned, but I didn't see for how long, because I was already gone. Julie and Alex chased after me, but I didn't want to talk. I just needed to cool down away from people, but walking away didn't help, because we had to go to math.

When I walked in the classroom, there were only two other kids plus the teacher. All three of them looked concerned when I sat down, a tear trickling down my cheek. I pulled the hood of my hoodie over my head, and tried to disappear from the scene. I didn't care much if my classmates saw me, the one I was most concerned about was the teacher. Mrs.Pesten is one of the guidance counselors at our school, but it doesn't stop her from making rude comments at the students. Yes, at the students, because she says it to their face, not under her breath, not once she turns away, straight to their face. Once she made fun of one of the people in our class for talking slowly. I don't even get why she does it, isn't she supposed to be supportive of students? Oh well... as long as she doesn't do it to me....

In math I tried to keep myself from looking up, because I knew what Julie and Alex would be searching, trying to catch my gaze. I succeeded in not locking eyes with Julie or Alex, however I wasn't so lucky when it came to Mrs.Pesten. She was talking about something like area I think - I wasn't really paying attention - when I looked up, to make it seem as though I was listening. She locked me in with her chocolate brown eyes, but continued talking. I think she noticed the tear on my cheek because she paused for a moment, and frowned slightly. She had a genuine expression of concern on her face. My eyes darted back down to my arms resting on the desk, and she slowly returned to what she was saying. I didn't look back up for the duration of the class. "Alright everyone, that page isn't homework. Oh, and bring your devices tomorrow for kahoot, and study for the test friday." The bell rang and I fled the class, trying to make it to french without interacting with anyone. I should have realized that it would never work because Mme.Farley doesn't let us into the class until about two minutes after the bell, which gives everyone a chance to talk to whoever they want. In my case, that would be no one, however in the case of Julie and Alex, that would have to be me. Both of them approached me as I stood there against the lockers with my head bowed, and they started to question me. Why did I storm out? Why was I angry? Who was I angry with? Why was I crying? I didn't want to answer any of their questions, and thankfully Mme saved me from having to. I left that conversation as fast as possible, and don't look back. I went to go sit in my seat with... oh yeah, Sean, Emilie, and Jacob... Just what I want.

As I sat there, Sean kept trying to apologize, I just didn't want to hear it. To make him shut up, I told him I was sorry, and that it would be better to just move on. He didn't say another word to me for the rest of the class, and that's just how I like it. Not talking to anyone.

*****

When I got home that night, I needed to be alone. I just needed to let myself have time to recharge. I call this my sanity time, it's time I dedicate for doing nothing so that I don't go insane. It's at this time that I watch YouTube, or read, anything to get my mind off whatever is going on in my life. At the moment, that would be school stuff. Projects, presentations, essays... I'm going insane just thinking about it. Just as I clicked the next video, my brother Nathan walked into my room. "Hey, dinner's ready," He said, in that monotone, teenager-ish sort of way. "Fine, I'll be there in a minute," I responded. He left, and I heard his heavy steps down the stairs. Each step getting softer, and farther away until the last, after which there was a shuffling that eventually disappeared. I paused the video, and turned off my phone. I shoved it in my pocket, and descended the stairs, to make my way to the delicious smell emanating from the dining room. My family was already seated, and had apparently just started eating. I sat in my seat, and shovelled some mini potatoes onto my plate, followed by a chicken thigh, and some salad in my bowl. We ate in silence, and when I got up to leave, all I could hear was the clanking of cutlery, and my own footsteps. I placed my plate in the sink, and climbed the stairs towards my bedroom. I got to my bed, and crumpled into a heap on top of it. I was so tired, after that overwhelming day of school. I just lay there until I realized I was thirsty, and would have to get up for a drink. I sluggishly got up, and went back downstairs to raid the fridge for whatever drink I could find. I opened the door to the fridge, and remarkably, there was more than just club soda and water. There, in front of me was a partially empty two litre bottle of orange pop. I poured myself a glass, and went back upstairs. I placed the cup on my desk, so I could get comfortable in my bean bag before pulling out my phone, cuing up a video, and grabbing the glass once more. I kept picking video after video, until I checked the time, and realized it was 11:57 pm. Ugg, I still have school tomorrow. I got ready for bed, and fell asleep almost as soon and my head hit the pillow.

That night I had a dream.