You don't really know how much you love someone until you see they don't love you as you thought. The same with others. When someone starts to drift away from you, you show emotion without feeling of knowing it...only then do people realize how much you love someone. Most of the time, it's kept to yourself, but sometimes...just sometimes...you can't hide it. My name is Rose. I am a seemingly normal person to most, but to myself I'm nothing. I'm just an absent, empty girl that happens to have met her love early. She may be the death of me, that girl. That's what I'm saying all this for. That girl. That beautifully complex and perfect wonder of a human. She goes by the name of Piper. Hmmm...Piper...a name not heard often, classic, maybe. I like to think she loves me like I love her but that's a little too much of a fantasy. She says she loves me, no one compares, that I'm her best friend...but I don't feel it. And another thing is she never knows when she's hurting someone. I don't hold it against her but the evil parts in me want to. I love her too much to let her get away from me, so I stay. People ask me why I love the people that hurt me...and honestly, I don't know. With Piper, I just can't stop. She's so addicting and I can feel it slowly killing me, but I really don't care. It's that beautiful addiction that keeps me with her. The craving of her...the feeling, the emotion, the silent communication. It all fits so well. But it still shatters. And I fix it over and over. There's a price to pay to be able to have her. It's not a small one either. You have to deal with pain, days without her, awkward moments of apology and a bunch of crazy shit in the middle of it all. But if you manage to make it past those things, there's something beautiful waiting for you in the shadows of Piper's mind, soul and heart. I have found it. That beautiful girl unsure of herself most of the time, so selfless it begins to hurt people, so pure. Something about her, the way you can't see through her. That delightfully chaotic wanderlust mess of a girl, you just can't see past her. You can't miss her. It's impossible. I see her everyday, and I'm so quiet. She makes me nervous each time I see her. Every time I go back to her there's a new thing to love. A new spark never noticed before. I fall in love again and again. She hurts me so bad, puts me through the worst pain...but I love her so much I will always have her. No matter what circumstance it is, I will gladly hold her every fucking second of my life. And that's what love is, I believe. Staying with someone just to feel them, have them. I know, deep down inside of her, she adores me, loves me...but I can't see it. She's my world, my life, and everything in between being alive and being dead. But what am I to her? My wanderlust piece of perfection. That's what she is to me. And a lot more, some things I can't even begin to describe.
•
•
•
•
(a/n)- This is based on a real person, real name, real experience, but my name, that's not known in this story. But she knows who she is. My beautiful chaos. I hoped you enjoyed my terrible writing, and if you didn't, that's understandable. I'll still write anyway so deal with it :)
-romanticwhovian
