Its may 9th 2016
I cut last night in the shower
Normaly its no big deal but last night it was diffrent. The blood as i cut the blood was darker and came faster than usual. I couldnt stop it though. It was weird tbis was the first time it didnt even hurt a little. I knew it was bad but i couldnt stop
befor that the last time i had cut was april 30
I rember it very well becausei was at girlscouts i was so mad i dont even know why i just had to do it
It was like my thigh was burning
The time befor that was april 28
I dont even rember
The time befor that was april 16, my birthhday
No one even bothered to rember
only a couple of my friends know they dont care but they know and the number one question they have asked is "why"
There isnt just one reason why its a long line of events that leads up to the point where you hate yourself enough to cut yourself.My reasons are easy yet not
1 my mom
She doesnt care all she cares about is her job and her weed
2 my weight
Im fairly skinny but still fat ive always been shy about my fat
3 My grandmother
My grandma on my dads side has cancer and is dieng
4 I just dont care
I dont feel it. So why should i care, if no one els does
5 I need some way to get out my anger
I dance, i run and nothing can get my anger out im always mad even if i should be happy. iM mad at myself, my mom ,my life, god, anything
Now i know all of this is sad i guess but dont pitty me, trust me i dont want your pitty i just need someway of getting all of this shit out of my head so if you pitty me or think im stupid dont bother reading
Thanks
