I let my arms fall at my sides my heart beating faster than I could comprehend. There was no way I could complain what was happening was everything I have every wanted but I was slightly disappointed at the same time.
"Yes baby" I replied. His eyes were sparkling and his dark hair was tousled perfectly. He pulled me in and crushed his lips to mine in one fluid motion I was off my feet and my whole body was pressed against his.
"U don't even know how happy I am" he breathed against my ear. I felt us moving but I was so in shock it was hard for me to concentrate.
I felt the back of my legs hit the bed and my heart rate picked up. The atmosphere started to totally change. Ryan had just proposed and the candles and rose pedals started to feel totally different. I had been with Ryan since I was 16 so the proposal wouldn't come as a surprise to anyone except me. Now suddenly after 4 years with him my heart felt like it was being slightly torn where it was a little rough around the edges. Being with Ryan was easy I had met him at a rodeo when I first started running barrels. We had been connected every since the day I set eyes on him. He was 3 years older then I but my parents didn't care they saw the money behind the handsome face and the large family business. So naturally they pushed me into his arms and I went along with it.
Things we're great with Ryan I had everything I ever dreamed of. His family owned a ranch and they did very well to be modest. He spoiled me and took me everywhere and we were the hottest couple at every rodeo they loved us. But only a year into it my sparkling eyes and beautiful smile began to fade and bruises began to take there place. Not feeling loved or safe anymore I chose to stay with him and make everyone happy but myself.
I felt Ryan push me down on the bed and my thoughts were cut short as I felt the air get sucked out of my lungs. Ryan's eyes were boring into mine as he scanned my body. Oh god not this again I shuttered.
My faith was very strong and I believed that waiting until marriage was the right thing to do. When Ryan and I first started dating I was clear with him on my intentions. He agreed but the longer we were together the more persistent and angry he got with me when I told him no time after time.
"We can't." I stated my eyes staring up at him.
"Yes we can." He stated as he pushed my top off my shoulder and kissed my neck.
This is when I would get afraid. We were completely alone in Ryan's house and if he tried anything there is no way I would be able to stop him.
I pushed at his shoulders and chest. "We can't Ryan we have talked about this before we really can't."
"We're engaged now. We will be married by the fall were not really disobeying anything were just doing it a little early." He said grinning down at me.
"Besides babe u have made me wait for 4 years now." He cocked his eyebrow and gave me his award winning smile that made every other girls heart stop except for mine.
"No" was all I had to stay to feel the pain collide with my cheek. My eye immediately began to water as the pain scorched through my face.
I opened my eyes to see Ryan glaring down at me with a murderous look on his face.
"Do you know I can have any other girl?" He spat.
"What about Mara? She would show up in 3o seconds to have me all to herself for the night."
"Or Lexi her too! Or any of your "friends" that u race with!" He yelled in my face.
He stood up and walked over toward the fireplace. He hands balled in fists and the veins poking out of his head. He had never said that to me before he had talked about other girls that he could get with but never my friends. Tears began to well in my eyes I thought they were my friends.
"They wouldnt there my friends." I hiccuped as the tears really set in. The pain on my face I could deal with but my friends hurting me like that was breaking my heart.
"Lexi offered it to me Saturday night by the back of my trailer as I was cleaning up. I could of so easily taken her right into my trailer and no one would have known." He sneered at me.
I knew better than to get angry that usually only made the situation worse but my blood was starting to boil and I was so hurt that I dont think I could of stopped if I tried. I stood up and got right in Ryan's face which he hated.
"How about I tell them about what u do to me when things don't go your way or show them the bruises on my stomach from the last time I talked to a guy at the rodeo. How about I show them the scars on my hips from the night I didn't give into when u were drunk. What about that?"
In an instant he had me thrown up against the wall his hand around my throat. My airway completely cut off my eyes started to water as I could feel the air seeping from my lungs.
"Please don't." I whimpered.
He threw me to the ground in one fluid motion and my head banged against the coffee table. I could feel the blood dripping down my face and the warmness coming from the top of my head. Tears rolled down my face as I held my head. The pain in my cheek nothing compared to the pain throbbing from my skull.
Then just like every other time I felt his arms wrap around me as he held me against him and start to rock.
"I'm so sorry baby. It just upset me to hear u say that, your the only one I want ever. Your my beautiful fiancé." He turned my head and he gave me a smile. I tried to smile back knowing that it would only get worse if I didn't.
"Come on let's go get your head fixed up we have people to start telling. Your will forever mine in only a few months time."
I shuttered at the thought but just nodded my head and put on my fake smile that I had become way to good at.
He carried me in the in suite bathroom and set me down on the counter. This routine was all to familiar to me, he was sweet as can be as soon as he hurt me. Why couldn't he be like this all the time? That was the man I fell in love with not the one that hits this fiancé. I shuttered again at the word, my parents will be thrilled when they hear there perfect daughter is getting married to the perfect man for her. It will be the talk of the town.
I looked up at Ryan and watched him as he filled the bathtub up for me. He genuinely was drop dead gorgeous he dark hair lay perfectly tousled on his head, his eyes were a piercing color of sky blue, he jaw was well defined and his body was drool worthy as he had a very defined six pack but to me after so many years of pain alls I saw was the terrible side that only I got to see. Everyone loved him, he was an amazing roper and traveled all over the country to compete. His family owned a beautiful ranch and had a very successful cattle business. He was every girls dream and when he set eyed on me I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world.
Coming from not very much money my family was more then happy to see me with Ryan. My parents loved him and my dad and him got along really well.
I had started riding at the young age of 6 and grew to love it I got better and better the older I got and started competing when I was 13. I worked my butt off and eventually I was competing with some of the best barrel racers in the nation. Then I started winning and my name became known. I was at a rodeo in Texas when I first met Ryan. He completely swept me off my feet.
"Ok your bath is ready baby." Ryan said placing a soft kiss on my cheek. I tied not the hiss from the pain that caused from the smack earlier. He walked out of the bathroom and shut the door. I undressed and slid into the bathtub my head throbbing as I felt the pain set in harder then before.
I shut my eyed and began to pray for help because I could hear Ryan's foot steps coming toward the door and praying for no round 2 before I realized that I hadn't put my ring on yet.
