“Ew! Emma, you’re so ugly.” The words rang inside my ears so loud that I put my hands over them, trying to make them stop ringing. You’re such a bitch, I couldn’t get those words out of my mind. It was barely two months into my freshman year at New London High School and I was sitting on the bus alone. “Hey, freckle face!” A boy yelled at me from the back of the bus. A few freckles were sprinkled across my face and ever since I could remember, I hated them.
One the verge of tears, I looked outside the bus window. I tried to think about something else, anything else. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t hold back the tears. Tear after tear rolled down my checks, as I thought to myself, why can’t I fit in? What did I ever do to them?
The bus stopped in front of the New London High School building. I stood up and started to walk out. I felt someone bump into me; I turned to see who it was. Rachel. “Bitch, get out of my way.” She said, as she brushed past me. Rachel was one of the many pretty, popular, skinny jean wearing bitches that wouldn’t leave you alone. You couldn’t escape them, they were everywhere.
“Sorry.” I mumbled.
Rachel turned around and said, “Emma, you’re disgusting.” She turned around again and hopped off of the bus. I grabbed my book bag and also hopped off the bus.
I walked into the building and down the halls. High school was terrible. Girls crying in the bathroom because they were told they weren’t pretty enough. Boys not fitting in because they were considered not cool enough. People sitting at lunch tables by themselves because they don’t have any friends. It was awful.
I walked into my first class of the day, chemistry. Our school made all the boys draw names for lab partners at the beginning of the year, Josh drew my name. At first, he didn’t mind and was nice to me. He had become a good friend of mine and I one of his. But then he started to date Brittany. She is Rachel’s best friend, so Brittany also can’t stand me. She laughed at Josh for being nice to me. So, Josh changed very quickly. He started to act exactly like Rachel and Brittany. A couple times in the middle of class, I would run to the bathroom crying because I couldn’t take it anymore. Josh knew it too. But he doesn’t care. Josh has told me that I’m not pretty and that I’m just a freaking bitch. I’m not good for anything and that God wasted good flesh on me.
Josh walked into the room smiling, saying hi to all his friends. He was one of the most popular guys in school. I put on a smile and said, “Hi Josh.” I always tried to be nice, with the hope that one day he would change back to normal and I would have my friend again.
Josh’s smile faded as he looked at me. “Emma, you know I hate you, right?
I sighed and nodded.
“Good.” Josh said, looking down at his lab book.
Luckily, the class went fast. I really couldn’t focus on school today. I was so relieved when the bell rang, dismissing us from chemistry.
“See ya later, loser.” Josh said, as he picked up his books and walked out.
I walked out of the room and walked toward my next class, math. Even though Josh wasn’t in this class, it wasn’t much better. The teacher had set me between Rachel and Brittany. I walked into the room and Rachel and Brittany were sitting on their desks laughing. A crowd of people surrounded them laughing also. I gulped as I walked to my desk and sat down.
Rachel and Brittany looked at each other and got grins on their faces. But just then, the teacher, Mrs. Hunter walked in. They wiped the grin off of their face. “Brittany and Rachel please don’t sit on your desk.” They sat down in their seats and Mrs. Hunter turned her back. Rachel gave her the finger when Mrs. Hunter wasn’t looking. Brittany laughed and Mrs. Hunter wiped around and asked, “Brittany? What’s so funny?”
Brittany tried to muffle her giggles as she mumbled, “Nothing.”
Mrs. Hunter gave Brittany a skeptical look, but said, “Class is beginning, so everyone please take their seats.”
Mrs. Hunter began to teach about algebra. It was boring and I really didn’t care. I folded my arms on my desk and buried my head. Minutes passed and then I heard a voice whisper to me. “Hey Emma.” I looked up and a note was lying beside my right arm. It was notebook paper and it had been folded a few times to be small enough so Mrs. Hunter wouldn’t see it. I unfolded it and Brittany and Rachel bursted out laughing when they saw my reaction. There drawn on the paper was an awkward ugly girl, she was fat and had dots all over face. Apparently, the dots were supposed to be freckles. Written at the top, with perfect swirly letters, it read, Emma.
A closed my eyes as a tear rolled down my cheek. “Aw, poor Emma. She’s crying.” Rachel whispered.
I stuffed the note in my bookbag as the bell rang to dismiss us from math. Brittany bumped into me and said, “No offense, but you need to leave to suck it up. Crying isn’t going to help anything. Emma, if you don’t suck it; next time, it’s just going to hurt more. Besides, you’re only crying to try to get attention.”
I glared at her and just walked away, I wasn’t going to waste my breath on her. I walked down the hall and into my next class, history. I walked to the teacher’s desk. “Mr. Dashwood, can I call my mom? I don’t feel well.” I said lying.
“I guess, you haven’t missed a school day or been sick and had to go home before.” He said. “I hope you get better.”
“Thanks.” I said as I walked out of the room. I walked down the hall and into the bathroom. I pulled out my cell phone out of my jean pocket and dialed my mom’s number. I looked up as I waited for an answer. Brittany was standing in front of the mirror, reapplying her lipstick. She flashed a dirty grin at me and said, “Emma.”
I walked out and ran down the halls. “Hello?” My mom’s voice asked.
“Mom, I don’t feel well. Can you come pick me up?” I asked. Please, Mom.
“What’s wrong? What hurts?”
I thought for a moment and then put my hand over my stomach. “It’s my stomach, it hurts.”
“Sure, honey. I’ll be right there.”
I looked up and saw Brittany walking toward me. “Emma, why did you run away?” She asked, with a smirk on her face.
I glared at her, I had enough. “Brittany, leave me alone.”
“Fine.” She said, walking away. “I want you know that in my eyes, you’re always be a bitch.”
I walked out to the school’s parking lot and saw my mom’s black Toyota. I walked up to it and hopped in. “Hey honey. Do you want me to drive you to the doctor?” Mom asked, as she pulled out of the driveway.
“Now, I just want to go home and rest.” I said.
“Okay.”
“Mom, Did Dad call?”
Mom’s smile faded as she said, “No, honey, he didn’t. Emma, don’t be surprised if he doesn’t call for a while.” My dad and I have never really got along that well. We would often have fights. A lot of nights, I spend crying myself to sleep. About a month ago, we had a fight and he left. I haven’t had a call or an email or even a text from him.
We got home and I headed straight for my bedroom. I hopped on my bed and started to cry. I can’t handle my life any longer. I put my hands over my eyes. With tears rolling down my face; I thought to myself, maybe they’re right, maybe I am ugly. I guess now I know why they hate me so much, because now I hate myself too.
I walked into my Mom's room. Some of my Dad’s stuff was still there; my mom put all of it in a box and put it in the corner. I opened the box and my tears started up again. On the top of the box was my dad’s black tee shirt that said: I’m a D.A.D.D. I’m a Dad Against Daughters Dating. I gave him that tee shirt for Christmas; my Dad loves to wear funny tee shirts. I took the shirt out of the box and slipped it over my own red shirt. Under the tee shirt, was his camo hat. He was hardly ever seen without it. My Dad loved to hunt and do outdoor events. I put the camo hat on. Wearing them, made me feel like he was closer; almost as if he had never left. We had our moments when we argued and yelled and didn't get along, but I realize how much I miss him. I looked in the box once more; I saw his hunting knifes.
I picked one up. I don’t remember what I did next. But I woke up hearing sirens.
