Cigarettes and Suicide

Chapter Two

'The smoke, it was suffocating. Like drinking wax that hardened in you're throat and stomach. He blew into my face and the cigarette let out a line of steam. "Eren, touch me." He said. I blushed and looked up at the owner of my leash. "Touch me..." He says again and I see his cock hanging in front of my face. I look up again. "Make me get off baby." He says before shoving the cock in my mouth.' 

I jolt awake with my thumb in my mouth and drenched in sweat. I felt hot. I felt the need to shower. But overpowering all of that was the need to touch. I sit up and my lower abdominal area protests in pleasure. I sigh a groan and cover my mouth. This isn't happening... I tell myself, finding my hand go under my boxers.

A knock at the door stopped me. I blush darkly, hearing the knock again, then get up, hiding the blush as I soon find out I can't walk.  The door opened with my permission and in Armin came. He looked worried. Sick even. He had the sad look in his eyes and his hands were balled into fists.

"E-Eren..." He stuttered.

"Hey... Are you okay?" I asked and he shook his head.

"Th-The Corporal... h-he's in the infirmary..." Armin said.

"What happened?" I jumped up and tried to stand with my jelly legs, it going away with how worried and scared I had just become.

"H-He..." Armin trailed off and looked at the floor. Something was wrong. I walk up to him with shaky legs. I then grip his shoulders.

"Hey! Common, what's happened to the Corporal?"

"He was smoking and then he... committed suicide..." Armin says. I stand still and look him straight in the eyes. He gives me a worried look.

"Is he okay? Will the infirmary let people in?" I asked, yanking on my sweat shirt.

"Y-Yeah..."  He says. I sigh. 

"Thanks..." I kiss his head like I normally do as a thank you and he blushes pink. I shake my head when he gives me a puppy eye look and leave the room, running towards the infirmary. The door was opened and I saw Erwin next to Levi on a chair, holding his hand. Maybe they haven't broken up yet, maybe they are and Erwin wants him to know he was there for him. 

I felt jealous...

I walk in right behind Erwin and see him entwining his fingers with Levi's. My jaw clenched and I sigh through my nose, then walk to the opposite side of the bed Levi was laying in. His eyes seemed to open and Erwin smiled at him, I did the same and he just stared at me. Erwin looked up at me and saw my love filled, happy face and scowled. Maybe he doesn't like me. Hell no, he only likes me in his bed...

I pull up and chair and sit next to Levi and he stares at me again. Those beautiful blue eyes piercing my very own gaze made me stop and stare. The way they moved on my face made me blush lightly and look away. Erwin chuckles and I glance up at him. He stood up and lightly turned Levi's head towards him and kissed him lightly. I felt like puking.

When he leaves, Levi turns his gaze towards me again. I speak this time, but softly.

"Hey..." I say he clenches his jaw. I try again. "Uh... How you feeling?"

"Sick... Painful... Drugged..." His answers hurt me.

I couldn't help but grasp his hand, he looked surprised. I bring it to my mouth and i kiss his bandages wounds, I kiss his fingers, I kiss his hand and then look over at him, giving his hand a tight squeeze, giving a worried look.

"Im sorry, Eren." He says and I stop and give him a confused look. "I'm sorry I hurt you in the past. Im sorry for everything I did. I'm sorry you have to see me like this. Im-" I kiss him to shut him up and he relaxes into it, like he had been expecting a kiss. I pull away and look at his blush stained face.

"No," I say, "No, you're who you are and that's what you did when you were acting like yourself. Nothing but you, nobody but you can change that. You acted on the heat of the moment back then and im very much glad you did, or else I wouldn't be here right now."

"Eren..." He says and his eyes tear up. "I want to die, Eren." He says. I nod.

"Not on me. Im not going to allow it... I... I love you. Ok. I love you too much to let you go. I don't want to see you in here, I never wanted to see you hurt. You mean too much to me and there's no way I'll be able to let you go." I said and wipe his tears. He gives my hand a squeeze and put on his emotionless mask. I sighed. 

"I love you too..." He says and looks at the man standing in the doorway.