I’m rusty
Words spill over my desk faster than my mechanical hands can type
The cogs don’t turn the same way they used to.
I once shone silver in the eyes of others, shown off, glistening and prized.
What seems like years of neglect left me tarnished
Locked in a box in the dust and the dark
And I hate it.
With every freshly typed line I rewrite again and again never satisfied
Never deserving of the praise I’m given.
I can do better
Trust me when I say what you think is my best is my worst
But my hands fumble on keys
And I stumble on similes
Nobody uses words like mellifluous anymore
Crumpled dictionary pages and lack of motivation
And when I’m unblocked
And I spew out a stanza or two
I am my own worst critic
Tear up the pages
I am a failure
No good writer likes their work.
So tell me I’m brilliant
Polish me up like I once deserved it
And I will shine gold in your eyes
And your eyes alone
Tell me I’ll be something someday
I’ll never believe it.
