Space is Nice

Space is Nice

Chapter 1.

Henry and Edgar sat at the edge of the lake fiddling with their fishing gear. It had been a long, almost entirely pointless weekend and the time had come for relaxation. They got into their canoe and using their wits, managed to slowly glide across the water using these things called paddles.Now, Henry was never a hard worker. In fact, he had spent most of his life reading books, writing stories, and many other stupid things that don't boost one's income so he didn't really have much endurance when it came to paddling. And so, Edgar had to perform most of the laborious paddling as they traversed the quiet pool.

"How much longer do you think we have?" asked Henry.

"Well I'd say it won't be terribly long until we reach the center of the lake. Then we can begin unpacking our gear!" replied Edgar.

As they went along they passed what seemed to be a stump in the middle of the water. It had what appeared to be three branches sticking out of its top and five silvery leaves on each branch. Henry and Edgar thought nothing of it at the time and passed it by. Now I know what you're thinking. "Gee, I wonder what that stump has to do with this story! I can't wait to find out what's so special about it." Well, I'm going to save you a lot of time and just tell you that the stump was a stump and nothing more. Don't get your hopes up because it’s not going to be mentioned ever again in this story. Deal with it.

Anyways, where was I? Ah yes, so when Henry and Edgar finally reached the stream they began to pull out their fishing rods when a large cloud passed overhead. It was just the same as any cloud you're likely to see on a summer afternoon only it was metal and had glowing light beaming down from it.

"Um...what exactly is that? asked Henry.

Edgar was shaking so hard that Henry could hardly hear him over his chattering teeth.

"I..it's...a..sp..spa..SPACESHIP!"

It was at this point that Edgar promptly fainted and fell out of the canoe and into the murky depths below. Normally Henry would have jumped in after him but as he was beginning to sense a great adventure about ensue he decided to let Edgar drown in order to save him (and us) the trouble of an annoying sidekick. Henry was bathed in a bright purple light and slowly, his canoe began to rise out of the water towards the giant metal cloud.

"Well I guess this means I get to skip work tomorrow."Henry said thoughtfully, before a small needle pricked him in the back of his neck and he passed out.

He awoke to the sound of the many generic beeps, boops, and bops you would expect to find in a spaceship. There were lots of flashing lights and computer screens that Henry couldn't make sense of. Neither could the aliens for that matter who, speaking of which, had just begun to approach our protagonist. The aliens were dressed in bright pink sports jackets, inside out khakis, and flip-flops. They were all three feet tall and had large heads shaped like cubes.

"Um, hello sir. Sorry for the whole kidnapping and knocking you out thing." whispered one of the aliens who appeared to be the leader.

"Oh it's quite alright, I wasn't too keen on going home anyways. My phone bill hasn't been paid in months and you know how those things go, well actually I suppose you don't. Anyways, it's a big hassle and involves paying lots of money."

Paying lots of money was not appealing to Henry in least. Mainly because talking to those phone people was always an awkward event but also in part because he had no money with which to pay.

The alien smiled. "Well that's good to hear. Anyways, You've been asleep for a couple of Earth hours and we have been running tests on you. Nothing too personal mind you just general health and things like that."

The other aliens were passing sheets of paper back and forth between each other and looking at one another very sternly. Henry assumed they had discovered some dangerous disease residing in his body or some bizarre tumor. Of course, in reality the aliens were simply passing little hand-drawn cartoons of their leader making silly faces and things of that nature but it had a curious effect on Henry all the same.  

"Um... excuse me for asking but I thought English was a language native to Earth, and your clothes seem to resemble (at least somewhat) the clothes we wear back home. Are these things commonplace throughout...well wherever we are?"

The alien let forth a high-pitched giggle. "Oh no! We have been studying your planet for about four Earth years now. You see, where we come from, the most respectable job one can have is the occupation of fashion-designer!"

The rest of the aliens let forth a brief giggle. "The fads on our planet have grown so out of proportion that we have all been forced to scour the galaxy looking for new, hip outfits! Why just last week we were all wearing green tuxedos and steel-toed boots but oh how our fashion choices have progressed since then! As for your language well, let's just say it was easier than teaching you ours. Not to mention It's clearly the easiest language to speak as the Americans so kindly informed us, so that's always a plus." 

This all seemed to make a great deal of sense to Henry so he decided to stop being such an inquisitive nuisance and just give his extra-terrestrial kidnappers the benefit of the doubt.

"I'm sure you're wondering why we brought you aboard our ship" Murmured the alien. "I suppose it's time I give you a bit of info regarding our plight. You see, we didn't just come to Earth to examine your clothing... We lost something of ours that was quite important. We come from a planet about five lightyears away called Gilmogul. Unfortunately, like most planets these days, it went bankrupt. We were so busy buying new outfits and adjusting our styles that we absolutely forgot to pay our intergalactic rent so to speak. Much like on your planet, space has a mafia and they don't take kindly to those who don't pay their rent... Anyways, we had a bit of a 'Plan B' so to speak. It was a large sort of gun-like thing that can absorb large amounts of life-forms. We were going to use it to vacuum up all of the mobsters once and for all but unfortunately we made a bit of a mistake. In order to keep it hidden we broke it into smaller pieces and shot them across the universe. Now were having a bit of trouble finding them all again and we need your help."

By this point Henry was very interested in their story. "You know I've always wondered what my purpose in life was and now it's right here in my face. The fate of an entire race is resting on my shoulders. I'm just wondering, why me? Of all the people on Earth and the rest of the Universe you chose me to save your planet!" exclaimed Henry.

"Well" Said the Gilmogian leader. "You seemed like a can-do sort of guy." 

The Glimogians began to put Henry into one of their fancy "suits of honor" before he kindly refused. He wasn't too fond of rainbow overalls and tap-shoes but he was flattered all the same.

As Henry walked out into the crowd, he was surrounded by cheers and clapping from all sides. It reminded him very much of his High-School Graduation. Only he wasn't graduating and he wasn't in school so whatever correlations Henry drew were simply from his own sheer stupidity. Analogies only go so far.

The crowd pushed him along towards a small escape pod in the corner of the main room. When they neared it the leader pressed a small button and a hole opened which Henry used to enter the pod. Inside the pod was a small jacuzzi and a mini-bar. This would have been unusual to Henry but since he had never been in a space pod before he didn't really know what to expect.

"The first planet we will be sending you to is Tylod 6!" said the leader "It's not the most enchanting of planets but we must obtain that piece! Here's a picture of it." The leader handed him a picture of a large cone-like piece of metal. "We believe in you! When you obtain it you can just press this button to be transported back to our ship!" the leader handed him a small red box with a blue button inside.

"Thanks!" said Henry "Well I guess I'll be going now!"

"Farewell!" Said the leader "Wait there's one more thing you must know!"

But the escape pod had already blasted off towards Tylod 6 and Henry would never know that the mini fridge only accepted MasterCard.