Even I had to admit she had looked beautiful, simply stunning in that black evening gown. She was the gracious host of this winter party I had attended. Her mansion was simply magnificent. I saw her taking a glass of white wine and heading for the balcony.
The view from there was simply breathtaking. You could see the whole town from there.
I went across to the balcony too. It was cold, the cold breeze made me shiver a bit. But I was careful not to make a noise and disturb her peace.
She looked back and smiled at me, but I remember thinking it was very peculiar. It was as though she dint really see me, as if I was transparent.
"I dont regret my choices.' her hollow confident drunk voice told me. Her face now, was blank, devoid of expressions. I listened.
"No, I chose wisely. Out of what I was given. But.."
There was an uncomfortable silence between us now, but that wasnt what I was uncomfortable of. It was the trembling tone of her voice, or my imagination which heard her trembling voice that made me uneasy.
"But, it doesnt change that, that I wish things were different. So different." She stopped lost in her thoughts.
A minute passed.
That trembling voice I heard, or imagined I heard made me want to reassure her, help her with every way I could.
Unsure, I started. " I think.."
"Oh! I have such terrible manners, you must be XYZ'S friend" she exclaimed smiling at me and cut me off, "Would your glass refilled? Wine or Champagne?"
I looked at my empty glass, I was holding, "yes I am, oh, umm.. sure, wine" was all I said, startled at her sudden sober confident voice.
She excused herself and went back to the party, being as gracious and smiling as ever.
Later in the party, we were introduced.
Three years since, I did happen to come across her, several times infact.
But in all our conversations, that 2min conversation in that balcony of her mansion at that winter ball was never mentioned. She pretended like that conversation never happened.
I never heard that tremble upset tone in her voice again.
I placed the white roses on her grave. Thinking back, today would have been exactly four years since we met.
I couldnt help thinking as I went back home about that 2min conversation at that winter party. My conscience nudged me and asked me, if maybe I had asked her when she was alive, the reason for that tremble, if I had/could have helped her, in some way, would she be alive today?
I felt guilty. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then I resumed my walk back to my place.
