My American Boy

ジャック

Turn back! This is real, but shit and a waste of people's time.
Summer has come. The time for me to get over these foolish feelings for a guy I'll never be with. I hope he never reads this. We had a language class and homeroom together, and also were on the same bus (going to move to a different house soon). It was the first school year I had saw and fell in love with him. We've never talked and it'd be best if we didn't. All school year feelings had taken over me, got the best of me. Along with this burden came depression, a sadness disease. I lied to a couple of friends about one thing in this state, mostly to my best friend who doesn't know anything about this nor that I cut or at least used to. My mom found out and saw the brutal, deep, last cut I made on my body. I am clumsy and like my father I get a lot of scars on my body in which I had not known of. Like papercuts or disgusting bumps from bugs I scratch. But unlike my dad mine stay on my body as his go away completely. I am changing the subject. So ジャック is the guy's name. He is an honors student, at least in my language class, but he missed a lot of days of school not that it's any of my business, it just made me worry... a lot. This crush was in a study hall class with me the last marking period but I was too scared to be in the class with him so I went to a different classeoom each day. When I gained more confidence I sat next to my friends in the study hall, he would then go to different places as well leaving me relaxed knowing my whole body could calm down, stop shaking, and my heart could beat normally. On the bus and the other class periods I felt like he looked at me a few times but it was probably my imagination, just me wishing he would. As about now I am trying to get over him with the little crush I have on an Irish actor named Robert Sheehan. Hopefully this summer the guy and my best friend who I will try and hang out with will help me get over ジャック. Sometimes a crush should just stay a crush ;) .