He was invisible. He was a small, naive child dressed in a too-big trenchcoat. He was a holy, almighty being with a divine purpose to carry out the Will of God, and a cold, celestial warrior with an unflinching sense of duty and a nonexistant conscience. His own will was drowned out, stripped away by the heavenly reason for his existence. He was just a drop of water in an immense sea of unearthly, glorious brothers and sisters exactly identical to himself. And none of them were godlike, not a single angel of God came close to His holy divinity, His almighty power or His gargantuan wisdom.
But the angel had heart. He had more heart than any other angel. His heart was heavy, and it was torn with his duty to God and his devotion to humanity.
Other angels would consider it corruption, and even insanity, to disobey and break away from the heavenly throng. But Castiel did it anyway. He disobeyed for a couple of humans.
He thought himself insane, and he oftentimes wondered if he had been corrupted by the human's strong influence of emotion. But he hadn't known what emotion felt like before he met humans. He had never felt the burning surge of anger in his veins, the heavy coldness of dread weighing on his shoulders, or the flying elation of happiness that made his heart soar. Emotion was strange and foreign, and most of the time he found himself loathing feeling because he had been lead to the false knowledge that emotion was corruption, but he knew he would miss it, were he to ascend from disobedience.
After his disobedience, after God abandoned the heavenly throng, he watched over the Winchesters. He became the guardian angel of the Winchesters. He would watch them in silence, only standing there as he watched Dean and Sam argue over what music to listen to as they drove, or Bobby as he diligently researched whatever it was Dean and Sam were hunting. He highly doubted the humans' awknowledgement of his presence ninety percent of the time he would stand there, just watching.
So he was invisible.
His name was Castiel, and he was the angel of the Winchesters. All angels, demons, and creature knew it.
But what Castiel didn't know, is the gratitude Dean Winchester felt for Castiel's guard. Just as Castiel had said once before, a long time ago, he and Dean shared a more profound bond that had never been seen as prominent before, in all the Earth's time.
Dean Winchester was in love with a rogue angel.
And even though Castiel didn't know it, he was in love with a gruff, broken warrior of humanity.
Castiel always came when Dean called. Castiel always did whatever he could to help Dean. Castiel always watched over Dean the longest.
So when Castiel committed the worst crime any creature could commit, even for the children of Hell, Dean's heart shattered. The angels were horrified that their brother had even considered to let the monsters lurking in Purgatory loose and they were grieved, though nothing compared to the torment Dean Winchester suffered.
The hunter's angel had been beyond saving. But Dean Winchester had given Castiel something no one else gave him before: free will.
And Dean came to see that the broken angel had not been beyond saving. That he had been just within his reach.
Inspiration: Too Easy by One Republic
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Supernatural: Destiel: Castiel's Disobedience
FanfictionThis is the story of Castiel's disobedience and gain of free will.