DROWN

one

From kids, we stuck like glue. We stuck together and blindly assumed that nothing would ever come between us. Growing up in Perth, I received the worst of times and the best of times. the happiest of times and the saddest of times. That small town meant the world to me, but all I wanted to do was break out and make something of my own. Make a life of my own. The same old surroundings encased me in a cocoon everyday. Waking up to the sound of the emerald monster, waiting on my doorstep, crashing against the slowly crumbling rocks, was a seemingly religious and daily experience. People always say that they would love to live by the sea, but occasionally it can be hell and it just gets boring after a while. The sea can lose it's beauty as easily as the sun can lose it's shine. To me, a treat was the city. Gong to a town, not spending my days in a maze of old boats Matthew and his Dad were attempting to rescue. White-washed, faded vessels crowded their yard, chunks of wood and dry paint all over the once prospering grass. But to them, it was home, just like the coastline was to me.

We hung out every day, the old routine never drove me mad. Escaping his morning drinker of a father, his mother having died a few years before, Mathew grabbed his bike and would run from the house before his dad could possibly catch him, already empty beer bottle in his aging, wrinkled hand. I felt sorry for Matthew. He'd been through so much but hid it all so well. Placing his foot onto the peddle, he pushed off the ground, pulling his second leg over to the opposite side of the bike. Every single day, in the early hours of the morning and occasionally before we were even meant to leave together for school, Matthew would cycle through the deserted streets of Perth, on his own, at 9 years old. He was my sunshine. He made me happy when skies were grey. I would stand at the edge of the glass balcony, bicycle by my side as I am ready to leave at any second, I watch the water gush closer and closer towards me. At one point, I wanted that sea to engulf me and this entire town. Take it all away. As I heard the screech of rubber tyres skidding across the newly tarmacked roads, my ears pricked up, as it signaled the arrival of Mathew. I watched as he turned the corner, a beaming smile on his face that, for him, was uncontrollable. Of course my immediate response was to smile back. I loved seeing him happy.

I walked down towards him, rolling my ancient bike by my side, pulling him into a hug, I would savor moments like that, constantly afraid that all of a sudden he would just leave. I knew what his dad was like. I held him close. We always stayed in this position for a while. I don't know whether or not I knew back then, I can't remember. But right now, I definitely know, but unfortunately, that will never happen. Not in this universe at least.

We were always unsure where we were really going cause each day truly felt like a new adventure with new opportunity's. Most days we would cycle through Perth, finding undiscovered parts of the city that we could claim as our own. Many times I would suggest marking them with our initials, but Matthew was hesitant to leave any sign of him being anywhere. he was terrified that his dad would somehow, one day, discover something he shouldn't or something that Matthew didn't want him to know. These special places, we held them close to our heart, but it was extremely difficult to find a good one. We looked for places that were hidden away, with trees to climb and plenty of space for our own dens to be made. It's weird, thinking back now, to realise that our brains were programmed almost completely differently as kids. Imaginations prone to drive us wild with unobtainable dreams. As you get older, reality hits you and you snap out of all of that shit almost immediately.

I vividly remember the day we discovered the elder willow tree, ij the rural part of our neighbourhood. It was a gem to us. Straying, sturdy branches, coming from every direction, sprouting lime leaves, extremely pleasing to the eye. It's white faded white colour contrasting beautifully with it's surroundings. Sharing a quick look, basically having an entire conversation with our eyes in no more tan 5 seconds, we dropped our bikes and ran towards in, crisp, fallen leave crunching under our black plimsolls. Using any upper body strength we could gather,n we pulled ourselves up, with a little help from some strategically balanced rocks, onto the first branch. The first step on our journey towards, what we though was, the top of the world. We believe that we would be able to see everything from the small, rural, isolated tree in the middle of nowhere, the only thing surrounding it being a maze of dry bushes and pulled up grass. Either way, we made it to the top, never bothering to push our small head up through the tree top. We swung our arms against our chest and pretended that we were gorillas or Tarzan, the were both very easy and similar to act out. After a lot of persuading and the threaten of a double-dare, I got Matthew to stand up, he said that it looked beautiful. That the sun was bright. That it was well worth seeing. But i never even got a glance as the second I even began to move, my legs turn to mush. He slowly sat back down, after taking a big long look, and after seeing me staring longingly up at him, then back down at the ground again.